end of 2008

word homepplz! i kno i sed i wudnt post until 2009 but i cudnt help myself, its 22:00 and i have nothing to do so wt the hell. so new years eve is comin, wt a bummer. yh soz im just makin small talk. the beginning of writing is always the hardest bit, just like in an exam innit? once u start u get stuk into it. malheuresment it doesnt get any easier some days:( i ws listenin to britney spears's new album and its wellll chuung, she gets a hard press these days...hmm wt an interesting thing to say. so new years is soon, im gnna go to joshs for it, but im nt lookin 4ward 2 it. bcos i hate everyone thats gnna be there, xcept for george matt merret and ofcors josh. but seriously wt a bunch of self obsessed incestual pricks. they look like a bunch of chavs frm hackney thrown thru topman/topshop. u kno who else i hate? non-conformists. not because they're weird, but because they don't want to be normal. for all those who think great artists and leaders are all slightly cooky and different to the rest of us, thats true, but they're always striving to be part of the rest of us, to make sense of the world they live and adapt. in effect great ppl are naturally queer. u kno wt else annoys me? ppl who have a go at non-conformists and then subtley try to indirectly persuade ppl that theyre great... any examples of that? god knows:p

hey wnna hear something funny? then listen to my podcast.

so this year hasnt been such a flop has it? lemme recap this year

jan 2008 - kavi sits his first A level module (critical thinking)
feb 2008 - kavi cries as arsenal start their decent down the table
mar 2008 - kavi steals £15 worth of condoms from his job in a pharmacy
apr 2008 - kavi cries again as arsenal are knocked out of the champions league
may 2008 - kavi sits some exams
jun 2008 - kavi quits job, successfully stealin over £120 in items
jul 2008 - kavi shaves head
aug 2008 - kavi gets surprisingly good a level results
sep 2008 - kavi's blog receives acclaim :p
oct 2008 - kavi starts writing for H.E.L.P magazine!:p wt an achievement#
nov 2008 - kavi turns 18
dec 2008 - kavi marks out what happened in his year but no1 reli cares

so that ws the year. actuli considering i had to reli think about wt happened ill say it ws a pretty crap year.

A conversation with the mirror 2

hey remember wen it ws easy being funny? wen u didnt even hav to try and ppl wud laugh? now its kinda sad wen u try to grab laughs by feigning ignorance. its even worse wen u deliberatley try to be un-funny because u kno u havent the wit to make an appropiate joke. u kno wts sad? the fact u masturbate twice a day!:P LOL dude get a gf! and not one of those asian ones... get one that;ll put out!

i love the fact im nt gnna be able to afford uni but yet ppl are all like "oh gosh kavi aren't devishly lucky considering you are most likely to get a government grant" yh cos im so desperatley poor that i shoppd at aldi b4 the credit crunch i workd 25 hours a week part time to save up enuf to pay for uni gosh im so lukky i dont have wealthy parents. and im gnna be 10 k in debt by the time i leave uni. oh how very proletariat of me to say so. but kavi ur not poor, ur on a fukkin computer, can poor people afford a PC? well i did get this pc from aldi. god those guys are life savers arent they?

isnt it sad once uve figured urself out? wen u can do something or say something and u kno the very angle ur workin at and it makes u sik. but kavi is there anything that doesnt make u sik? god u reli dont stop feeling sorry for urself do u?

weekend at moe's

so i spent the weekend at moe's, hes this guy ive known since like i ws 4 and man he is sooo chuung. i swer if i were gay i wud tap this guy so quiik. but im not and i think i wud be out of his league. hmm whos league am i in? i have no idea, have u ever tried to value how attractive u are? its reli hard cos everyone thinks theyr chuung in a certain way innnit. so any way i spent the weekend there. we played fifa. it was fun.

am i gonna be prime minister one day?

i told ppl that "one day im gnna be prime minister" and u kno wt they sed....they sed LOL kavi seriously ur an alright guy but ur a dum fuk... and then they suggested who they were backing to be the next prime minister ooo it made me so mad!! if john major cud be PM then why not me? if we can have a FEMALE prime minister then im feelin my odds are being good. id be a good pm right? actuli i think u'd have to be poltically correct:p tho bush wasnt. but he wsnt pm he ws president of the apparently the stupidest country in the world. i hate countries that adopt laissez faire economic policies, and to an extent i suppose i hate the UK. but things like the NHS do fill me the patriotism sometimes. so who would u vote for in the general election? ugh the tories are soo gay!! hug a hoody wt a fag! u shudnt be so harsh on the tories theyre nt soo bad. so wt if they fukkd up the economy in the early ninetees or snatched milk from small children. they won the war didnt they? they created the NHS, the stoppd there being a revolution against the monarchy. god bless disraeli. ugh wt am i sayin the tories are scum. i dnno where to support the libdems... they just seem sooo ummm amateurish..maybe wen im older. like wen im ded.

kavi's poem of fun

ip dip doo
im talkin to u
my blog is bre sik
like a aids infested brik ( which also has cancer. man thats such a sik sik brick:( sad story i wish i never get cancer its such a sad illness wrecks lives it does. u kno we shudnt even joke about it ever but ppl do and i just think its reli bad so if there anyone there that thinks its ok to joke about cancer i urge u not to)

well thats it for 2008 cya guys in 2009 peace out :)

The Dutch

schede schede schede! thats all we guys want right:D so this is gnna be my last post of 2008 so enjoy if u can, also i wud recommend not wastin ur time reading this if uve got january resits, go do some revision! so i sent my ucas off...and in one day i gt 3 offers:S also i gt an offer the day b4, so thats 4 offers in 2 days... nt bad ay? must be my dyanamic personality these unis love 8-) jokes. so im kinda in a rush to finish this post cos i wnna keep revisin the rump parliamnt. if u do too much histry u get kinda in a reading mode in which ur spoon fed information thru the books, it stops u makin ur own conclusions, which i have to say is probably the opposite of what an A in history should mean. a lvl histry dusnt involve analytical skills, u just remember other peoples analytical skills....hehe ANALytical:p i hope i spelt that right, it wud be awful embarassing to not have. i just looked outside thru the window and its alredi dark:S thats wt i hate about this year, the sun goes down earlier than its meant to. i know in winter the days get shorter but this is takin the piss. its dark at 15:30! well im gonna leave you with that to chew on for the holidays, hope u have a nice xmas, i kno i wont. hopefull knowing that itll make u feel that much better peace out! see ya in 2009! Lul Kut Stront Kontneuker Flikker( thats not an insult ) Neuk niet met me.Ik hoop dat je dood gaat!

Freedom of Speech/Expression

Hey guys, this is going to be a fairly short and sensible post but i would like some feedback via comments on the topic is that's alright:) So, freedom of expression. How far should this right be taken? I'm not actually sure if we have freedom of speech in this country, at least Mr Jenkins said something like that, but I'm pretty sure we have freedom of expression through human rights, and they're pretty much the same thing. Now...
1)Should a racist be able to express his views?
2)Should the BNP be banned?
3)Should Mr David Irving have been imprisoned for supposedly being a holocaust denier?
My Opinion:
Now I know those three all have links with racism, but that's probably why most people are afraid of freedom of expression in the west, since we're all allowed to criticise the government whenever we like. I would say YES a racist should be able to express his views; he would a flawed argument which would be incredibly hard to present, but they should nonetheless be able to express it. NO the BNP should not be banned. They MAY BE racist and hold other extremist views, but they should be able to criticise the government; this is a democracy after all. NO I don't think anyone should be imprisoned for denying the holocaust, even if it is illegal in Austria. I don't know whether to love or hate Mr Irving; he seems so rational at times. He has now come to accept the holocaust but still denies Hitler had any major part in the operation.
I'm sure lots of people would disagree with my views, or not even know who Mr Irving is, but please comment and let me know what you think.

The Renaissance

WOOO! guess whos back with a brand new rap pplz? and by rap i meant post! im totally hyped from all this caffeine in my blood stream, and its 2 good an oppurtunity to waste so blog blog blog time:D oo all this hyperness has made me hungry! ugh im gnna go make a sandwich! brb! kk back i cant believe i had to make it myself where my mum, my dad bought her for a reason, cost him a donky she did! mmmmm food...filling my stomach with goodness..argh theres so much runnin thru my hed i cant get it all down, i just gt an email from fiona mcfarlane from the culture show, u kno her right guys? she wnts me to go see a film of an asian film, racismm innit! i aint complainin, god this is a good sandwich. so wt makes a good post? where tanjil wen u need his opinion? probably at some amnesty international book sale, hes always there, well once in his life perhaps. i dnt get charities, i mean...UGH go away merret im tryin to write a post, brb..hah i showed him! i sed all his friends were losers! does that make me a loser? course not im not his friend, cos i dnt have ne friends, more on that later, wt ws i sayin?. i ws tinkin bout gettin a girl friend... cos ive been holdin bak from a realtionship...LOL yh right every1 knows im desperate for some loving...who am i tryna fool with that independent shit? i wanted a dutch gf like tanjizzle, that way ill get laid cos those dutch are soo modern like, and also she'd be my dealer, crazy dutch weed smokers. no wonder tajil looks 4ward to those letters! i wonder how mch stash comes erry fortnight ;) hehe speakin about fooling myself, perhaps i shud stop sayin im black, perhaps i shud stop sayin perhaps. just cos my rents were born in africa dont mean im black. also since my family west indian dont make me blak, just makes me from the west of india. but being just plain asian is sooo boring! half blak makes me cool! but african doesnt cos id have aids OH YH!!! charities! how long have charities been around? wts the point of giving to charity? theyr clearly doin a crap job and wastin ur money or all the problems wuda been solved ryt? i mean how long does it take 2 give african water? and theyve been gettin money for hoooow many years? giv ur money to kavi, he'll use it good, like on book for reading...knowledge has a price tag:D just look at bancrofts:p zach prince went bacnrofts innit, also raveethans dad sed he ws gnna send his other sons to bancroft cos the sixth form referees messd up and raveethan didnt get to apply to cambridge! raveethan has soo many brothers! like 5 or sumink like that! i wonder how much that must hurt his mum, physically and her wallet 2! 4 hungry tamils 2 raise. but theyre rich enuf, his dad runs tution innit, lol tooootion not tuition, tootion. why do tamils go tuition? tuition makes their hed hurt, and they come to skl and dnt pay attention and they learn even less than they wud normally and increases their need for tuition but noooo tamils dnt see the vicous circle? they only see civil war. i hate those idiots who supprt tamil tigers, y wud u support terrorists? or freedom fighters? tamils are clearly the minority, just piss off to some liberal country...oh whoops too late... now ur here stop complainin! lol ppl keep talkin to me on msn, and there ws me thinkin i didnt have friends:pkk im gnna say im busy, or maybe i shud just logg offf? nah im not cool enuf to not be on msn...god i wish i ws cool:( wt other ppl think is sooo important man, even wen ppl say they dnt care, they just ppl to think they dnt care, lol hypocrisy? or irony? lol maybe i shud read that post i wrote like ages ago? too long ago, hmmm i hate the past, it just maked me realise how stupid i was makin all those mistakes and in a couple of years ill think how stupid i am now makin the mistakes im currently making, like sleepin matts mother, god i almost gt arrestd with that kinky shit. also my fascism stuffs didnt help me at the black pride parade.. lol i at the parade i sed PRISON BREAK ! PRISON BREAK! lol geddit cos there ws a load of blakk pplz ? lol dw im not actuli racist, infact im half blakc? lol didd i explain that>? yh probz, u kno im nt gnna spell chek this so if things dnt make sense plz point them out yh. god i shud send off my ucas, everyones alredi gt offers n stuffs, and there i am waitin 4 my dad to "approve" my personal st8ment! i mean im 18 i dnt need ur fukin approval dad! 2 bad im too wimpish to say it 2 his face, or cos he wudnt understand since hes probbly wasted.. im probz 2 harsh on my dad, hes never actuli wasted at home except wen he comes home at like 2 am fromt he pub, but then im normally long asleep. ah man im hungry again! wheres that mother of mine? lol now ive talked about both my rentz.. u kno wt i think i shud end this post here, sorry if it ws a tad random, im finally sobering up from that coffee rush, ill make next post serious or atleast in good english kk? peace out homebwoiz bruup!

Reconception

Not quite the Renaissance of this blog, but we're getting there. I thought I should do some practice in blogging before I announce my full come-back. I believe I have succeeded in resetting my head but I feel I cannot quite yet start making sense of the world. I warn you that the word "I" -if it is a word rather than a letter - will be appearing quite a lot in this post, and I am not intending for this post to resemble anything close to interesting, so feel free to stop reading.


So if you've decided to tag along for the test-run, maintenance check or pre-season of this blogging revolution then you have only yourself to blame for any boredom related side effects you may encounter. I am now going to dive into my head and I shall record what I find when I re-surface. Here goes...

1) First attempt - failure to launch - I was unable to even flick the creative switch of my mind. There is probably a malfunction in the serotonin receptors. I shall re-boot and try again.

2) Second attempt - Semi-hallucinogenic state induced - success! I was able to enter the "happy" zone of my head but unable to translate any of the pure energy into comprehensible form.

3) Third attempt - Full train of thought created - well it seems I was actually able to create thought and opinion, but this is not a complete success, as it was mostly stimulated by outrage. I was able to codify some of the emotion,

"So variety night is finally over, now people can get back to the jobs they're getting paid to do, hint hint Mr Emdon, how bout u send of my ucas alredi? all these 6th formers have been wasting their skl time makin some crappy show, my rents dnt pay taxes just for paid skl time to be wasted! my rentz dont pay taxes full stop! jokes. and how comes they're chargin ppl to come? where does the profits go? i mean where does the revenue go, its not like the school pays for anythin like the hall or neting. i tink some of it shud go to the performers, but then again who chose the performers? the elite of the music department, the big headed, bourgoise who can afford instruments, who think theyre so much better than any of other part of the school because they think think "music talent" is a gift. its not. its just being able to practise. i can read, should i try to tell africans i am talented because of that? should i rub it in their noses? should i run crappy school run shows based on that fact, or a book club?"

Transmission was terminated through malfunction of the rationality matrix and perceived socialist tendencies. Overall I feel that can be seen as a satisfactory attempt at a post but modifications must and will continue be made to my head to ensure boundaries of thought are maintained.

a rotten apple core

f : x --> 3x-5
g : x --> e ^ -2x

state the range of g(x)....yh how bout u fuk off!?! ugh i hate maths, what the hell is that meant to mean anyway? how is it gnna help me in life? god i always start posts on a negative! lets start again..

i had a really great day today, arsenal lost and my mum died...kk im gnna start again one more time

well everything seems to be going against me recently but it doesnt seem matter, so that IS good:) i still have a histry essay 2 do for wednesday, ive had 3 weeks to do it so i think its meant to be good, but ho well. i found that i dont like histry nemore, italy is so boring. just thinkin about it is making me yawn. its also slightly depressing me, so moving on. i was think about vegetarians today. they say that killing animals is mean n cruel n stuff but thats such a bad argument.vegitarians are mean to people to eat mean all the time, why do animals deserve more respect? and you tryin to conserve life then why would you kill plants 2 eat? thats life too isnt it? apart from fruit i suppose, thats meant to be eaten if i remember biology:S u kno...im findin increasingly hard to think of things to write, im simply uninspired, plus im generally quite a boring guy, i can only talk about certain things for a certain amount of time. i was thinkin about takin a 2 week break from blogging. lol i almost thought people cared if i did. u kno i think ive developed a physical addiction to coffee. did i talk about that in my last post? well just incase i did i wont talk about it. hmmm kavi say something funny. u kno theres only two things i emotionally respond to these days, humour and depression. i'm tryin to find a bit in the middle. but its not working......... love is a disability, it stops you being able to see bad thing and thinkin evil thoughts... i dnno why i sed that but david bowie sed soemthing like that in one of his songs..wt a guy. u kno what..fin.

13/11/08

So what subjects do you take? Doesn't it make you cringe when a conversation can't start or is in serious danger of dying and this question pops up? Unfortunately for me this happens quite a lot.

Clichéd names

Kavi, a cosmic unicorn and a red wolf find themselves floating somewhere...

Kavi: .......so.... this is a litte awkward...
Red wolf: SILENCE!
Cosmic unicorn: hey hey! dont be rude! why are you here little boy?
Kavi: i dnno! one minute im writing on my blog and the next..whoosh! floating in space!
Cosmic unicorn: what makes u sure so sure u r floating in space?
Kavi:well because its dark n stuff...im pretty sure this is what space is.
Red wolf: well then you'll be surprised to find out we not in space, we are in a vacuum of reality, in a place incomprehensible
Kavi: no were in space! isnt space just one big vacuum? i mean theres nothing in it, what difference does putting "of reality" at the end make?
Cosmic unicorn: lol he got u there
Red wolf: the very fact that you have defined space as what is inside of the vacuum you mentioned allows there to be a definition of the void and therefore is no longer a vacuum.
Kavi:.....
Cosmic unicorn:......
Red wolf: what i mean to say is that were are in neither in nothing nor something, what we are in cannot be defined.
Cosmic unicorn: ok? but who cares? dude why did you even ask that question?
Kavi: i dnno! i thought i could sound smart
Cosmic unicorn: well u sure made the 2 of us look reeal dum dint u!?! so nehoo u dont actuli know why you're here?
Kavi: nope!
Red wolf: why he is here is irrelevant!
Kavi: hey! wocha tryna say?!
Red wolf: SILENCE!
Cosmic unicorn: jeez! enough with the SILENCING! who dya think you are?
Kavi: nah its cool dude! i dnt mind being quiet for a while
Red wolf: good.
Cosmic Unicorn: dude ur here cos me n SILENCE mccgee here decided to spread our message
Red wolf: you brought him here?
Cosmic Unicorn: yh why not?
Red wolf: i say that we shouldn't tell anyone of our ways and you decide to bring someone?
Cosmic Unicorn: mmhmm thats my job remember!
Kavi: so in the void of reality you are employed? that seems kinda dum to me guys
Red wolf: do not question me boy!
Cosmic Unicorn: what he means to say is that "employed" is not the correct word. our arrangement of existence is mutually beneficial
Kavi: what exactly do you guys do?
Red wolf: we hold ultimate power
Kavi: over what?
Cosmic Unicorn: over all that exists
Kavi: then how comes you didn't know i was going to come then wolfy?
Red wolf:...
Cosmic Unicorn: because you do not exist you are not in the a dimension of existence.
Kavi: u say that, but im quite clearly existing, i mean im talkin to you guys aren't i?
Red wolf: you perceive you are talking, you hear yourself, feel you lips moving. because you can sense physical properties associated with speech, it does not mean that your speech exists.
Kavi: so the fact that i can hear and see you doesnt necessarily mean you exist?
Red wolf: it is a possibility
Cosmic Unicorn: and the fact that he said were not in a dimension of existence, im pretty sure we dont
Kavi: then what makes you ultimately powerful?
Red Wolf: by existing we ensure that doubt and confusion ensues
Cosmic Unicorn: we do the things that people can't explain by simply being there
Kavi: but i thought you said you aren't there! you said you don't exist
Red wolf: we don't need to be sensed in a physical form to exist
Cosmic unicorn: nor do we have to exist to be perceived to exist
Kavi: my head hurts:(
Cosmic unicorn: yh it usually does when people think about it
Kavi: hey can i ask you something?
Red wolf: sure!
Kavi: how comes you got all explainy and less snobbish suddenly wolfy and you stopped being all nice and hip unicorn?
Cosmic unicorn: because you wanted it that way
Red wolf: we often apprehend what we choose to apprehend
Kavi: i dont understand. you guys changed because i wanted you to change?
Comsic Unicorn: precisely
Kavi: so i can make you what i want to make you? i can destroy you or create you? are you guys even there? are you just a figment of my imagination?....guys?

does anyone read the title?

wategwan! if caffeine is a stimulant then why the hell am i so tired and short on words? i honestly can't think of anything to say, but i'm determined to finish this post 2nite, drafts are for losers. i don't wanna waste my time, become another casualty of society. i'll never fall in line, become another victim of the conformity? but why the hell not?:p darn hippies. hmmm i need someting funny to say quick. and not just the word anal. i hate the fact that ive been tagged by that word, i hardly see it appropiate to start texts to me with the word anal. its like callin john major prime minister, he did the job for laugh along time ago, but we've all moved on, stop living in the past! god this posting business is reli reli hard atm! im just daydreaming listening to sum 41 waiting for something to pop into my head. i spose if u dnt give ur hed time to stop thinkin u can keep typing. hmm wt to say now tho? ive now finishd explainin that i cant write and im dangerously close to running out of things to type..shud i just keep typing dots...... no that wud be a waste of space. i suppose i could just slump into depression and talk about that. but i refuse. i want to show theres another side to kavi, an almost happy side:) u know what i hate? nothing, im happy. isnt life just great? with all the oxygen and pointlessness. now now kavi sarcasm isnt they way to go. now my bro sed a weird ting to me earlier this week, that i kept misusing the word "irony" he sed irony is when you say something but u mean the exact opposite. i ws like thats sarcasm dude?. but hes older so hes probably right. i always thought irony ws like wen something oppositely coincidental happens, or if u say something that u dnt mean, but ur meaning is obvious. i suppose if tanjil reads this he can help me out...hmm matts listenin to jay-z, cud he get any cooler? now was that sarcasm or irony? god knows. since ive mentioned matt and tanjil , why not shout out some names.... paul the aryan..merret..george.....yh i spose that'll do. now i dnt kno if this happens to anyone else, but sometimes when i look at word, i see how its spelt and then i just cant get over how absurd that word it is. examples of words i find weird sometimes are; fat, quit,october..theres a few more that i cant remember. so i did find some words to say on this post, will you look at that:) but sayin that i dnt have many more:( ooo another weird thing that happens to me is that i only dream (or can only remember my dreams) if i have read something before i go 2 sleep. just thought people should know that, its like medical information, i mean i told the office that. ah man my bro came into the room and ws like standing behind me for like 5 mins just wochin me, without sayin a word. now i was rather embarassd of my blog but he cud bl8s see i ws up 2 something i didnt want him 2 see. hes such a freak. ah man i had tings to say b4 he walkd in...he totalli fried my trail of thought. i cant believe i have nothing better to do on a friday night than write on some blog. i accidently missed have i got news for you writing this:( happy thoughts.... u kno wot? im just not a happy person. i do laugh alot tho. lets be funny. so wots up with the colour green? its soo look at me im soo distinct from the other colours, wt a loner. that wsnt even a funny attempt of tryin not to be funny. merrett just gave me advice on not writing forcefully, hey merrett...screw u! yh i spose ive written enough, i mean i wrote SOMETHING unlike matt. happy happy:)! now ive read this for spelling mistakes..it feels too short...so wt the hell lets keep goin. so its novembr now woo! my fave month, its soo nice an cold, u know what! it gets soo dark these days!! its like pitch blak at 5 o clok. i walkd home 2day at like 5:15 and i ws scared of being in barkingside after dark! i think a cuple of chavs have moved away from barkingside u kno. about the same time that stabbing on horns road made the news.. hmm.

A conversation with the mirror.

You hate yourself. I can tell. Everyone does. Not only that, you hate anyone who reminds you of yourself. And if you were to realise you hated someone simply because they reminded you of yourself you would hate yourself even more.

The mind. Arguably the most beautiful conception in existence. Yet it encourages its own destruction. Why do we find the destruction of brain cells via alcohol such a pleasurable experience?

Ever been in love? I doubt it. Love doesn’t exist. Take ego and lust. It’s really nice to know someone likes you, who thinks you’re great. It makes your big head even bigger. Lust, what can I say? We all have needs. The desperation to maintain these two ingredients in a relationship is the closest thing to love. Slightly overrated if you ask me.

Life is hard isn’t it? Wrong! Life is only hard for quitters. The world isn’t against you, everyone isn’t wrong, you’re just not right. Don’t feel sorry for yourself, the universe understands you perfectly, now it’s time for you to.
God is for the ignorant and the desperate. Only a fool would follow religion through fear of god or genuinely believe in explanations that suited life in the Middle Ages. Some hope there is a god, so their life doesn’t seem so meaningless. God is for the hopeless, when your life is in such a desperate state, you’ll find any reason to keep living.

Suicide is for cowards? I would think it’s much harder to bring death upon yourself than to be lazy or scared and do nothing. Suicide is a sin? Suicide is caused by sin. Why should one endure pain to prove to yourself you aren’t a hypocrite? If you can’t beat them, join them

It’s funny how the more one learns, the more they wish things could be simpler. Why understand more about an existence that is so brutally flawed? Ignorance is bliss.

i get bored sometimes

hi guys! i think i've got to love my enormous fan base:p, i kno matt george merrett tanjil and "flame" read my blog from time to time, and i have to thank you guys! your great comments are appreciated:) exept yours matt, tbh u dnt reli put any effort into ur comments, theyr usually one liners. enuf about matt, its my bday soon. i thought id care more about it, i mean im gnna be 18! thats a milestone isnt it? but i feel the same. i dont drink, so being able to drink legally doesnt really seem like a big deal to me. wnna hear a joke? wots the difference between chris martin and jeff buckley? ... chris martin can swim!..ye its not very funny, moving on.
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lol i like that line i drew in full stops ! its makes this post look like its in a different setting. so arsenal are flopping arnt they! lost 2 points to spurs and droppd all 3 to stoke! and now weve lost van persie to play against man utd. sagna looks injured along with walcott. tough times. but u kno wt ive just realised, that in like a month or 2, if someone decides to read this, its gnna be old news, hopefully arsenal will be top of the table by then. wnna hear a funny joke? wots the difference between a black man and a frog?........a significant amount of DNA..ye its not very funny, moving on.
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so cubitt askd me to write an article about the U.S election in the H.E.L.P magazine in school. firstly i dnt understand why people in the U.K (where i live) care about the elections in another country, i bet a random member of the public couldn't tell you who the president of ireland is. If they even have a president. secondly, why does cubitt think im this political expert? just because i do the A-level, it doesnt make me any more qualified to talk about it that anyone else, and to write about it in a publication the whole school is gnna read!? i mean im really bad at english, ask ms collins! this blog is testament to my poor literary skills. infact im not sure if literary is even a word, or the word im looking for. but this is getting a bit too serious. wnna hear a joke? wots the difference between belgium and the netherlands? Belgium doesnt have any girls sending poetry to tanjil.ye its not very funny, moving on.
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You know i never chek read my posts, to look out for like mispelt words, i always get tips from raveethan wen he reads them. i shud reli read my own work (if u can call it work) i didnt even notice whether i ws takin in standard english or msn talk:S i think its a bit in between. which one do YOU prefer? ( see i engage the reader! hint hint matt!) lol soz:p lets lighten the mood. wnna hear a joke? wots the difference between McCain and Obama?.......McCain hasnt been selectively bread over the generations of slavery.ye its not very funny, moving on.
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I feel i could end this post, and im tempted to press publish post, but i kno i dont post as frequently as i used to, and i havent run out of steam yet. like the title suggests i do infact get bored sometimes, so i decided to post on this blog. its like talkin to someone whos not real. like an imaginary friend. i wish i had an imaginary friend, so i wouldnt be lonely, but unfortunately im too questioning of the world to fool myself. and there wouldnt be anything new to talk about. soon we would start hating each other, id bitch about them to matt and we might even break up. man that wud suk. wnna hear a joke? wots the difference between kavi and krishna?.....krishna can pull off wearing sun glasses. cmon that one ws alright!:p

anger

im so fukking angry ! therse fuking little keys on my keybaorad are too small there just getijn in the way,. dsfjklsdgkl;vasdjo gkjsadou cant fukkin think y do i keep using the wirjk fuk the back spaece jsut keep tyupung atleast some ien mytr ber abler to t rwead it si tther wrend !!!!jaaaagaghaghagah!1 K;TWF MJHOW THE GUK CUD EER LOSEE!¬! =4-4 IM gnna fukijnng kill someone words are holding me balkckkkds apdiaskl ljksdfglahjklghdfjlaertrrrgg!!!! fl kj WTF!!!!!

I was thinking...what makes something random? Now I can trace back my trail of thought to when I decided to solve the question earlier than time...why is Merrett’s blog better than mine?! Firstly because Merrett has something I don't, which is talent. But enough about Chris! This is MY blog! I was thinking about the good things about my blog (and there aren't a lot to be fair), but one I did come up with was that I believed mine to be random or unpredictable. Here is where what I thought makes more sense in my head rather than on my screen. Considering I never really use particular topics to focus my writing (well typing actually) on, all my posts could be said to be bits of randomness. If all the posts are going to be based on nothing in particular, it would be quite easy to predict what the next post would be about, which is nothing in particular. And if you can predict something it doesn't make it random. Does that make sense? So back to Merrett's blog, and by the way folks you can find the blog I'm talking about at www.tmroady.blogspot.com. Merrett seems to talk about particular topics each time he posts, so essentially in each post there is a degree of predictability. But you can never predict what he is going to talk about in his post until he posts it with the title. Now is this random? I suppose you could look at every single topic imaginable and take an educated guess at what might pop up next, it won't help but one might decide to do that. Computers are said to be incapable of true randomness. This is because when they are programmed to be random, they pick from a series of options and therefore cannot be truly random.
Another thought has just come up in my head. Sssh! Let me think! ...why did I say "I believed mine to be random or unpredictable" and say it was a "good" thing? Surely unpredictability makes people feel insecure, and I would be making my target audience feel uncomfortable! You know what? I'm going to tell you how I'm going to write my next post. I'm going to write once I have induced a state of hyperactivity through and mild dose of caffeine. Should be fun!

You're awfully cheery today,.... odd

Relief. Sweet sweet relief. I think relief could be the most pleasurable experience on the planet. I mean how good does it feel to go to the toilet when you're really bursting or to finally rest your aching body on a soft warm bed after you realise you can't force yourself to stay awake any longer? I ws tinkin bout it 4 lyk an hour 2day, y is it that all da tings we enjoy r ting we cnt normali do, its like relief frm day 2 day life. i dnt find that tings i can do evryday r fun. tink of it dis way, a fat guy myt get sick of mars bars, bt da very second he goes on a diet, shoving dat piece of chocl8 in his mouth its heaven. Is life so overburdening that we actually find it pleasurable to be rid of the stress?
Another way we find fun is through escape. Into the world of video-games and alcohol. Arsnl fukd up fenerbache on wensday, 5-2, i ws wellll happy, bt its nt lyk ne of wt dat team dus is relavent 2 my lyf is it? i jus woch ftbal 2 escape. im nt reli an assasin working in Damascus during the crusades, but yet i feel pride when i complete a mission on Assassin's Creed. Anywhere else is bliss. It helps to explain why so many don't want to get up in the morning. Most people don't get up easily in the morning not because their body is too tired, but because they're so much happier once they've escaped to their dream state.
I would think that most don't even notice the third path to joy. It seems life in general is he main obstacle to happiness. You can be made numb to life for a certain amount of time or you could run away from it. The third way is to confront life. u gta find sumin 2 liv 4 n drag urself 4 a wyl thru each day, dis is probz da hardest part, dis is wer u wna giv up or run away. bt if u dnt, u overcome life, tings start gettin betr. u even smile wen u see the clouds float seamlessly past. You smile when you see yourself in the mirror, with a toothbrush shoved in your mouth, and you love what you've become. You love the fact that when you step outside on a cold winter's day, the cold hits you like a wall, (a moving wall) even though most walls can't move8-). You even laugh at the cheek of that female driver that didn't stop at the zebra crossing!Dis happy place aint easy 2 stay in tho n soon enuf u slip bak out. u 4gt hw hard it ws 2 gt dat place in da first place n wen u try to get bak in u wnna giv up agen. I suppose we've all entered and left this happy place but its really up to you weva u get back in, weva u sink or whether you swim, fall or stand, run or fight.

Nigerian Death Metal? :S

Music and the English language go hand in hand. Most people today claim to have a passion for music and some even comment as if connoisseurs. It is quite clear to see that music plays a prominent role in the lives of the masses, the art seems to form almost an identity for individuals. What has always left me confused is why English continues to dominate the music industry. Considering music is appreciated all over the world, why is it that the biggest American (and sometimes British) musicians are the most recognised. Do English speakers make the best music? Probably not. Is language even involved in music? It seems only logical that music should be judged on the skill and originality of the musician and their instrument.
Some would argue that music is more than a series of notes on different instruments, but now includes a message that listeners all relate to. If true, this would explain why English speakers would only listen to songs written in English. But why then does the entire world listen to songs that most do not even understand? Also how much can be expressed in the lyrics of a song? Sex, love, hate, happiness and sadness. Anything else?
It seems to me the reason for English being the universal language in global popular music is obvious. Money. Huge record companies that operate in the United States allow for American musicians to be heard all over the world, whereas a Spanish singer may only have resources available to be promoted in Spain. These Pop icons may not even be talented; Britney Spears comes to mind and also Avril Lavinge (I know what you're thinking! Kavi she's Canadian! but she is signed with an American company.) Neither of these women has talent, listen to them live, even i could sing better than that. Yet because of the money provided to these "sexy" young women, they have become internationally renowned. I think its time for music to become cosmopolitan.
Music in other languages appeals to me, only of course if the music is decent enough. Even though i can't understand a word of it, the different language is so different it provides originality that popular music has failed to provide recently. Here are 3 Artists i would encourage to look at:
1) Yael Naim - A French Jew who sings in English and Hebrew. She experienced a slight glimmer of fame when one of her songs was played in an iMac advert.
2) Disiz la Peste - A French Rapper who has an album name "le Poisson Rouge" or the Goldfish, how could you resist?
3) Asala - An Egyptian, who experiments with Arabic jazz and pop, a scary and crazy mix yet surprisingly appealing.

bornos sucks , btw borno is the chemist i workd at

my fingers find the keys on my keyboard so easily, now thats a real example of practise makes perfect, its not like the ordering of letters on a keyboard is anything specific, but the fact i can more or less type with my eyes closed is quite an achievement. SO now as my fingers are bent over this piece of plastic and wires, occasionally they shift to pick up my mug of hot chocoatley warmth, i'm wondering what to write. i was remembering the time wen i had a job, now were those good or bad days? i remember the smile that stained my face whenever i got paid, even though it was really really not enough for an average of 21 hours a week. I also remember coming home absolutely nakkerd everyday. i went to Jas's bday party and i cudnt literally stand up for most of it, which ws ok lukkily bcos no1 knew or cared who the fuk i ws. remember wen the quad ws primarily 2 sets of indepenent groups? awkward times.. we all knew each others names, but conversations rarely crossed the border. remember wen every1 ws fat in lower school? especially peter, simon , merret..sorta:p and clifford, and ofcourse especially myself..man i weigh the same now as i did when i ws in yr 9. Thats shameful. well the caffeine has set in...yh i had coffee in my hot chocolate, and im drowning slowly into the emerging black hole that is depression. drugs have lows. u kno, im depressd like 80% of the time. but were all sick of the pessemistic posts on kavis blog arent we! stop feeling sorry for urself kavi! u kno wt made me laugh? matts blog! yh thats right! im starting a blog war here! and wts ur crap blog gnna do about it? nothing thats right! u dnt even post. the more u can post on ur blog shows how deeps ur personality is...look at merret and george for instance...but peter...sport and politcally incorrect jokes? THATS ALL PETER IS ABOUT! WT A LOSER! just kiddin peter ur great...in a very specific athletic and humourous way... and bringing in back to matt, how about writing ur own stuff! not just working of quotes u find! wt a loser! just kiddin ur great...and unlike peter ur probz gnna read this. that brings me to my blog, depressive ramblings, seemingly original thought thats has ironically become cliched, crappy poetry and inaccurate politics! need i say more? wt a loser! just kiddin ur gr8, i even chek u out in the mirror;) dya kno wt.. wen i think about it.. some of the things that make us laugh reli reli arnt funny.. like the constant black jokes or jews jokes and sexual references.. not funny, just sooooo politcally incorrect it makes us giggle, like sayin bum in primary school. and how many GBs of illegal material is on my PC? i shudnt be sayin that on a blog but still... merret just mentions some band called brand new...so i decide to download an album of theirs.. without payin... im sik to my stomach. how dare i! and how dare the internet let me do that! u kno wts fukkd up... raveethan 4gt his house keys the other day, and i actuli managed to break into his house for him and open the door, and i ws proud of myself! my god. i wna tell u a story of a little girl.. her name doesnt matter, wt does matter is her age, she ws 14 ...OH RIGHT!! GIGGIDY GIGGIDY! thats the end of the story. shud i end this post? i havnt reli written anything memorable yet, and its making me fustrated! wheres the funny kavi wen u need him? in fact i havent seen him since yr 11. i kNoW lets make a rap!
yo yo yo
ur mums a ho
i gt her from behind
and it made her blind?
she ws brilliant
like a polish immigrant
who works as a slave
whoring out on the pave....ment
like wt i did?
gassd it like a yid
the rap that is
and now it fizz...es
oh...yh did it again
and its such a pain
to kno that this rap
is so so so veeeery crap!
kavvizle MC! brruup!

soo? im keepin the day job...but i dnt have one so im pretty much fukkd.

Matt's poem

Here's a poem i wrote for Matt. It's not so good but it'll do i suppose:p


How's it gonna feel when summer ends?
Out of money, out of friends.
How you gonna cope when autumn begins?
No help is around, so you search within.

Alas you find there's nothing inside
But you don't care and you decide
That it seems quite nice to be eternally confined
To float around the depths of your mind.

You stick around noticing the smile
That has crept across your once baron face,
But it leaps away leaving you in disgrace
you remembered the question avoided all the while.

How is it gonna feel when summer ends?
Still out of money and still out of friends.

Left-Wing? Right-Wing? or in the Centre of this poorly categorized bird?

When I heard Naish making some absurd political and mildly racist comments, not only did I feel physically sick but also obliged to teach the ignorant folk something about politics, not all of this may be accurate be what the hell, here we go.

There are three stances most people tend to say they take which are; Left winged, right winged and centred. There are not however ONLY three stances, but an infinite number. Think of it as a number line between -1 and 1m there are 3 numbers;-1, 0 and 1. There are also an infinite amount of decimals in between them. Now this number line isn’t actually a line, it’s shaped like a horse shoe, so left wing and right wing are almost touching. By the way I apologise if you find any of this post patronising.

Let’s start with the left-wing. This wing promotes equality, the idea that everyone is equal in every respect. Therefore a CEO of some huge company would be no less important than a chimney sweep. It also means that no one gets exclusive rights to anything; everything belongs to everyone like a big sharing family. In economic terms the wing promotes total nationalisation, communism in other words. The left wing greatly emphasises the importance of community and togetherness, in a “totalitarian way”.

Now the right wing is very much against the idea of equality, they like the idea of hierarchy where everyone has different roles to play in society. So a Rich businessman would be more important than a chimney sweep. The right wing believes businesses should be owned by individuals, which in economic terms is called privatisation and is basic capitalism. It’s like a family where the father tells the children what to do and gets to make the decisions but has to look after the kids and is responsible for the family’s overall welfare. The right wing also emphasises the importance of community and togetherness but in an “authoritarian way”.

It could seem that the right and left wings aren’t that different; especially as they both promote the idea of a strong community. However, both have different ways of imposing their systems as I have already mentioned, through either totalitarianism or authoritarianism. Totalitarianism is when the state controls everything to keep order and the idea of a national community. This way it ensures disciple and order, things then tend to run smoothly. People are usually free to enter government once elected since all people are equal. Authoritarianism is when the state imposes its authority over all through the government and businesses. They crush rebellion and maintain the hierarchy to keep order and discipline, things runs smoothly when everyone is doing their own specific job. With both wings, there is a limitation placed on rights as they need to strong discipline. This leads me onto the centre.

The centre usually represents liberty, being free to do what you want without any hassle. This may seem good but there is minimal government intervention to fall back onto, so if you become unemployed the government won’t do much except keep you alive. The centre doesn’t really emphasise on the community but rather on the individual, bombarding them with rights so they don’t have to interact with each other, and promoting all to act rationally. The centre tends to promote privatisation but it isn’t rare for some to encourage some nationalisation, a mixed system would make sure most are comfortable with what they need, but not necessarily all they want. At the moment the government is pretty much centre-right with our rights being degraded thanks to the threat of terrorism, but we have been traditionally centre-left with the setting of the NHS and a comfortable welfare system.

If you read all of this I hope it helped :). Some parties offer some pretty convenient policies like safer streets, but make sure which approach they take to it, left or right. You might just end up with something you wish you didn’t wish for.

Writers Block

i kno it sounds silly, but i tink i myt have writers blok. jokes? ive herd that only bad ass mutha fukas get it. so why cant i think of nething to write? must one be in a creative mood to write? if that ws the case i dnt think i wudve got this far. maybe ive written all there is to write, bt thats impossible bcos i speak so freely about nething, why cant i get it down on paper, well on my screen? maybe its cos wen we talk we sorta always talk about the same things, speech is so repatativ, why do i feel the urge to keep my writing original or atleast not to keep makin the same points over and over? has the schools system of essay writing gt 2 me? make a point, go into more detail and give supporting evidence, now thats a paragraph;) bak to the point, i dnt think thats the reason. maybe its quite the opposite. perhaps i have too much to write and im unable to get it all down. its like theres no order of floating pictures in my head but im trying to release all of them at once and theyr gettin jammed at the exit, leaving my fingers just twitching over my keyboard. or maybe ive spent too much of my life thinkin and not enuf time expressing it, the thoughts im trying expressing cud have been at the bottom of all this stored of thought and made a metaphorical tower in my hed collapse. well, ive noticed that on this blog i spend a considerable amount of time talkin about myself, which most other blog authors dont do. i think im just sick of psycoanalysing myself or cant find nething new about myself to tell everyone about. the most probable reason for my mental blok is that im self obsessd. im subconsciously blokkin all thought of other subjects other than myself. i spose it explains why this post has been totally about me. kavi is so awesome.

no UR mother has it got it going on!

riiiiiinng! alarrm bells ringin!! ESCAPE! das wt jordan ws like wen da fire drill went off like 2days ago....lolage stupid whore.. jokes. nehoo i wud like to welkum bak da msn speak;) it makes typin so much easier.but to the point...maybe jordan ws sayin wt were all thinkin...btw i dnt think jordan actuli sed ESCAPE but for the sake of this blog and my convenience lets say she did kk?;) arent we all tryin to escape?? the immense heat of the fire burning your face..its awesome red wings spred across the inside the school, along the corridors, the veins of the bulding, bringing total destruction to all it meets, nothing can be done but to abandon it and think about wt do next. u barge ur way to thru the doors, gazing up at the perfect blue skies...u dare not turn around to see the smoking corpse of the school. the clouds floating effortlessley passin thru the skies makes this warmth surge thru ur body...lol not the fire behind u...its the site of this beauty. the see the black smoke spredding over ur view of the majestic blue sky...u run forward further away from the skl to get away from the smoke, away from the memory of whats there, so u can see the sky, its so nice, makes u feel all fuzzy, u feel time stop, u can just keep ur hed up forever...the warmth in ur stomach, its addictive, a drug, the smoke follows u, u see it covering ur view once again, the building is creeping closer, u feel urself go cold, u need the warmth. u keep runnin to leave the smokes behind, 2 4get wt happnd, to lose urself in the incomprehendable size of the curve of the earth, u dnt care ur neck hurts, u need the warmth. Then u hear callin..frm behind u, from the skl, its callin for attetion, u dnt wnt to go in but u dnt have a choice, its sukkin u bak in, u knew u cudnt stay outside foreva neway, but even stil ur disapointd now the times here.

we always look for tings to help us escape from life, fooball, alcohol, masturbation? just to help us thru the day. its fukkd up wen where u wnna escape to is as bad as ur life is aswell, like wen u get beaten by fukkin hull. like leaving a burning builiding into a another burning building...life sucks. id like to see u comment on this one:p

Would this be poetry if it rhymed?

Do you know why I believe in god? It’s because I’m afraid of the truth. It scares me to think that there is so much in the world that I don’t know about, so much in the universe that I don't know about. It scares me to think that the world doesn’t actually revolve around me, that if something happens to me nothing will change. I’m scared that when I die, there won’t be a heaven; there won’t even be a hell. It scares me to imagine what it is like when I cease to exist, what it is like not to feel, to move or to think.

Do you know why I believe in god? It’s because I refuse to believe my life has no meaning. I must exist for a reason. I don’t know the reason but lots of people can offer one, someone has to be right. I refuse to believe that there are freedom fighters, policemen and firemen, all of whom are martyrs who die for no reason. I refuse to believe that I live just for the sake of it. I go to school, pray every night and write on my blog just for the sake of it. I refuse to believe that the most plausible reason for me to live is just so I can die.

Do you know why I believe in god? It’s because I want to belong. I feel isolated in this cruel world, I want someone to understand me; I NEED someone to understand how I feel and to give me guidance. I want to feel like someone’s got my back, to feel that someone might rely on me, that I’m not the only one who feels the way I do.

Do you know why I believe in god? It’s because I hate my life. There has to be a reason why my life is so different to everyone else’s. There has to be positive ways I can spin the truth into my favour, and to give me fuel to keep going. My life can’t be this bad without some sort of divine intervention.

Do you know why I believe in god? It’s because I love my life. There has to be a reason why my life is so different to everyone else’s. Every second of my life is pure ecstasy, and I need someone to thank. The world is so beautiful, everything about it, the birds and the trees, the cars and the trains, the civilisation we have built. It’s all too hard to comprehend that all this beauty is not down to some sort of divine intervention.

Do you know why I believe in god? It’s because I need a way of explaining what I can’t. So many things in this world are still out of our control, people still suffer and die and we can’t do anything about it. How did existence start? Where does existence end? There is no other answer to all these questions.

Do you know why I believe in god? It’s because I can’t open my eyes to what’s in front of me.

gangsta style!

cap on! sleeves up! GAAANGSTA STYLE! ...hmmm so then...where to start? *awkward silence*.....when i ws 2 i wen out into the road and saw this red thing comin 2wards me...turns out it ws a bus! OUCH! hit me str8, hed smashd blood drippin down my nose...wen i woke up i ws in this dark room with a hot dog in my hand...i thought "a hot dog? if this is hell then satan has a reli reli weird sense of humour...wt a G!" childhood was fun! remember bigbird from sesame st? ws that a guy or a girl..shrug! kids gt it easy now..gameboys hav lil stiks u can use to press tings..also theyre in colour! nehoo there i ws with the hotdog and ther wsnt much in da room, just me and a table, no lights or nething...and i know there ws a table cos i ws lyin on it...smart arse.. nehhoo i gt up and like i cudnt reach the floor, which i ws used to when i ws 2, so i jumpd off but i never touched the floor, just kept falling and falling and falling...and as i ws goin down...and i assumed i ws goin down, i cuda been goin up for all i know i cudnt see nething, well until i started to see the room lighten up...except i wsnt in the room nemore, i ws facing it and my hotdog had gone, instead i had a pair of dice and by now i had completely forgotten about the bus and everything...memories go quikkly innit, infact im surprisd i can remember anything from when i ws 2, i cant even remember yr 9 french! xcept romero lol, i wish i umm..."appreciated" (lol thats the word) women in yrs 7-9 cos i had her for academic reviews and i defo wuda been a naughty bwoi 4 her;) i spose u remember like reli happy and reli sad moments..but like nothin in between..but im not sure where this memory about the hotdog and bla bla fits in cos its not reli sad such...nor happy...nehoo there i ws lookin at the room from the outside, now i cudnt see nething else but this white room. slowly it came towards me, or i moved towards it im nt reli sure, nehoo it came ryt up to my face, and touchd my nose...at the time my nose wsnt as big so it ws reeeeeealll close to my face. i ws kinda scared so i shut my eyes..but i cud somehow see thru my eyelids for a couple of seconds...then it wnt blak...took its time...i think sometime u can do something but it takes like time for ur body to notice it and take effect..u know when u get cut or something and u dnt realise and then later u see the blood or the cut itself..THEN u can feel the pain...sorta like that innit. xcept this ws sliiiiitley different i know but wocha gnna do ay? nehoo i opened my eyes after a couple of seconds and gess wot.....there ws a rainbow..this is wen i realisd i ws gay...nehoo i ws in ireland or somewhere..i had just heard my dad talkin bout ireland b4 the bus incident but i wsnt payin attention cos i ws reppin it with thomas the tank engine, but the name stuck in my name and for some reason i sorta knew it ws ireland..which ws funny cos there wasnt any leprachauns or catholic fundamentalism. so i walkd towards the rainbow but i cud never reach it...i musta been walkin 2wards it 4 like 10 mins..well then green ranger from power rangers poppd out from nowhere and i ws like YAY!!:D he sed hed help me but we had to summon the dragon zord..so he gt out his flute/sword and made that tune!! dooodoodoodoooo! then his mega zord came..how comes the green ranger gt a whole zord to him self...he didnt need it, thats just selfish, and why were there female rangers? if it wsnt a kids show they bl8s wuda gt raped str8 away. especially in those girly scimpy outfits...pink n yellow, it ws jokes how the black ranger ws black...as if he wsnt bright n colourful enuf....i spose they wanted him to stand out.. nehoo i gt into the zord.. and it ws flyin not walkin smashin buildings and shit...and how come the rangers were never arrested? they musta destroyed many a farm, they musta had to paid loooooads in damages or had one stupid insurer...AIG lol. well he took me to the bustop, and tolde me to take the 86 and then walk or take the 364 if i felt lazy, and i ws like kk but y the hell did u drop me in the next place..he ws like this is green street...u gtta learn to gangsta upp!! then he flew off..he ws qrong tho, green st is all freshy and pakified. i cuda been fresh of the boat in a borwn suit and like seagulls still flyin over my hed and still been ayt on green street. nehoo i took the bus home, bak then kids over 8 had to pay 40p but i ws 2 so i didnt...just thought id mention that...well i gt off at the seven kings homebase...and ws like aaaah im home.. then i saw some crowd in the street so i thought i wud walk over to it considering i dint kno where my mum ws. ryt in the middle of the crowd ws my mangled corpse...cliche ay? i ws like shiiiiiiitt that bus wernt playin no games! so i ws like pssh he aint gnna be in rush hour 3 so i walkd home...it took 4eva to get home cos like i had teeny legs...nehoo at that time i ws living on the same road as merrett...i dnt wnna be giving out road names:p but i cudnt do nethin cos like i ws ded innit...so i went to sleep...woke up and wrote on this blog.. walkin around all the time, no1 can hear me... or see me or touch me....which is a downer cos i cant rape ppl...:( ghosts have no fun:( ...wait thats not the end of the story...cos i ws walkin around ilford one day.. i ws well bored cos i ws ded..theres not much to do...so i went to JD and put on all this gaaaangsta clothes on...i gangsta'd up! then i woke up on the floor where the bus had hit me...it ws only a lil teeny bus like the size of my hand, but my bro ws a meean lil dikhed throwin things...so i crossd the road and fukkd him up the only way i knew how...GANGASTYLE!

The Quad

I would say there is a set list of Quad Squad members, and here it is:

• Burns
• Jack
• Josh
• Sam
• Cubitt
• Ruben
• Clifford
• Thomas
• Declan
• Matt
• Peter
• Merret
• Pablo
• Rigby
• Kavi
• Simon
• George
  
• AND TANJIL!

There are some occasional people who wonder in and out that i haven't included for personal reasons:p i hate dipesh..
There are clear areas in which the Quad Squad is split. It is possible to divide the quad into 5 different factions, but with heavy amounts of blurring between them all. These include; The Sporty lot, The Intellectuals, The Spanish Crew, The Music Lot and Drifters.

The Sporty Lot

These guys are clearly passionate about sports, mainly rugby and football, mainly because they're so good at it. 5 out of 6 of these lot are in the School rugby team, if there is still a team, and 2 out of 6 are in the football team. The lot have a clear sense of authority surrounding them as their huge presence is felt and almost feared.

The Intellectuals

A significant portion of the Quad Squad is applying to oxbridge. Although seeming quite appalled by sport-apart from maybe simon and pablo-these group of smart young men can be seen to be quite the opposite of the Sporty lot. However they acquire the same air of control as the big people of the rugby team, but rather through an all-knowing and almost a paternal esscence.

The Spanish Crew

This dynamic trio are origin of the hispanic influences within the quad, although there are probably none. With no other defining qualities other than mumbling the occasional spanish word, the existence of a Spanish crew is debatable, but the trio is loveable none the less.

The Music Lot

"Music in an essential part of life" is often heard from the mouths of musical talents who loiter in the Quad Squad. The either depressive, laid-back or phycotic members of the crew bring a breath of fresh air to the already well ventilated quad, along with fresh gossip and raw bitchiness involving the incompetence of the music teachers.

The Wanderers

By, unsuccessfully, trying to categorize the Quad Squad, i was left with a handful of members who do not conform to the general identities of the other groups. To keep this post and the idea of Quad Factions alive, i have decided to group these people together under the name of Wanderers. In effect all members of the QS are wanderers due to the grotesque amount of blurring between groups, but these lucky few are loved so much by all that they cannot be drawn to any one group.

Fight music...without the music...and without an actual fight..but shud make u angry and thats the point

brrrrrr!!! hear that? its the sound of death..its comin...comin to get u, comin to take u , taking u to the abyss, to eternal darkness. Reach into the depth of ur soul, what do u see? i saw nothing in mine, emptiness, can nothing be defined? how can u have a word for the lack of something? zero. think of zero for a while...think of what it means. it means nothing. i dont think u quite grasp the significance of that. infact stop thinkin. if u can i doubt u can, close ur eyes and think of nothing, not black not silence, nothing. incomprehensible. i hate things i cant understand. thats why i hate dipesh i cant understand how that nigga gt so fat hahahaha! lolll! not funyyy but nigga gtta laugh hahah? u kno wt els i hate. u! why the fuk u reading this go fuk off! im just kiddin , i NEED u , if u dont read this then this doesnt exist , I dont exist....if no1s around to hear a tree drop in a forest does it make a noise? no it doesnt , life is perception, wt u dnt sense doesnt exist. everything ceases to exist every time i fall asleep. bull shit i cant believe i just wrote that hehehehehe i cant think str8 just typing wt i think im thinkin but im not sure no time to stop tho, gtta do something, if i dont keep typing im gnna hurt something, probably myself JOKES! i wonder how long it wud take some1 to notice that i ws ded if i ws to kil myself ryt noww......probzz bout 24 hours... actuli its friday probz bee aboput monday mornin. my mother comin to look for to get me out of bed, she screams calls the ambulence starts to cry, blames her self. such terrible thoughts, stuk in my hed, gtta get them out, get them on this blog, give them to some1 else, keep my self pure. nice and rainbowy, all sweet and chocolately, laughin hahah look at me laugh im all happy. happy happy kavi...kinda rhymes dont it hehe, god i hope i explode, wts takin those fukkin swiss ppls there time. i shud b ded in some blak hole by now, uuughh im so bored, lost in dark thought. i hope im not scaring u , i wud never wnna do that. or maybe i wud i dnno. i wonder wt it feels like to jump off a cliff...i hate heights, i look down i get so close to daring myself to jump off...wud it be such a bad idea to do it? yh it probz wuud, it wud be a terrible mess to clean up. ravz i hope u dont read this...actuli i do or i wudnt have just written that hehehehe im gnna im gnna sink like a brik in custard hehe yellow, yellow is such a weird colour, u know how do i know that the colours i see are the same as the colours that every one else sees? my blue cud be ur red...u cud be seeing a red sky but u wud call it blu...how can u have favrit colours, rmemebr in primary skl,,,,, my favrit colour ws gweeen . fukin little kids cant say their R's gnna unleash gary glitter on u mutha fukkers UNLEASH THE BEAST! all seems dead on the surface, but its screamin underneath...haha thnx coldplayyy cudnt have put it better my self....always look at things from twice, things are wt they seem ahhaha look at joseph lansdown, hes a ticking bomb hahaha hes gnna explode propa asian stylleeeeee. life is jokesss a bitt too funny if u ask me, its gettin full of its self, its a sell out, gettin too popular its time to bring it down, teach it a lesson keep it in line, propa tory style, kik the shit out of it till it obeys. thats why he have laws tho...wt law does life obey?? huh! BITCH! does wt the fuk it likes rude bwoi mutha fukka! why not wear a fukkin hoody u dikhed?!! hide ur fukkin head in shame fukin ugly dik! but u dont stop do u? spring to summer to autumn to winter to spring to summer yh real real original u dum fuk. dnt try n switch it up with that global warmin shit. who u tryna fool? get a real job! im a hypocrite, i need a real job, i need to sort my hed out..switch it up, stop wastin my time on fukkin blogs . stop drinkin coffe that stuff is fukkin me up, cant sleep cant close my eyes, cant think or cant stop thinking ARGH! hahahah jokes! u know wts jokes? yh i dnno i thought u cud help, why are u still reading this? this post has no structure or theme...but dont stop, or no1 will see these letters and they wont exist except in memory..memories FUK ME UP!! i hate them! they keep u living in the past. the past isnt good. the future isnt good and the present is defo not good. but the past is the worsstt. u need them tho or ur messd up in the present or future and makes me fukkin angry! i need to stop them following me, i got rid of asians following me,,, why not memories, why cant u be a dikhed to ur self ? cos ull be left isolated. an amolie haha thanks mr jenkins and politics ....shud i stop? this is probz gnna be a long post , i cant tell cos i havent publishd, ugh my fukkin wrist...too much typing maybe i shud just cut it ....ponies rainbows kittens moonlight romance poetry ..PEACE

so whats the deal with baked beans?

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nice english sucks

kk my last post floppd cos it ws in nice english!!urgh!! if u wnt nice english PLZ go to matts blog www.isitworththeaggravation.blogspot.com its like this one but betr. Sure is nyc to be typin lamely agen i feel like a free blak slave..and i can say tht without like seemin racist cos im half black and west indian......wow im lost for words...writers block? i didnt think that existed b4 but i dnt think its that they cant think of anything to ryt i think its that they have too much cant get it all down. thats sorta wt happnd to me wen i tried to write it nice english, it took waaaay long and i cudnt order my thoughts. sometimes i wonder theres loooadsa stuff i think about or whether theres nothing..i mean i like staring at things but i dnno whether im thinkin while i do it or just like sorta ded. i look at the sky alot, its sooo big its cool, it calms me down cos it reminds me how small i am compared to the rest of the universe, wt i do is soo insignificant to existence. lotsa ppl in skl are prooppper workaholics and i dnt wnna name any names...*cough* manish *cough* i mean u gtta chill sometimes!! they dnt make me as angry as the ppl who are never workin but turn out to be uuuuuber smart, like kavi 8-)..... sarcasm if u cudnt tel.. im still quite sarcy even tho i dnt find it funny nemore, i have an odd sense of humour. and wt i find funny, is that wen i try to be funny i naturally stop laughing cos like i hate ppl who laugh at their own jokes..how sad! but wen they laugh u sorta becom obliged to laugh along with them or theyll feel bad. i dnt like makin ppl feel bad..but it seems im sorta naturally do it, so i try to keep quiet most of the time so i dnt seem like a prik..u kno wt i realised? this post has been mainly about me...lets talk about U now...well if ur reading this ur probably going out with vaishna or going to join the army:p...yh hows that workin out 4 ya?;)

good english and political?:S

Wordizzle! I thought I'd post once again on this rather boring blog because it seems i have some competetion from none other than matt. Also i thought it would be a nice idea to write this post in nice and lovely standard English. It seems a lot harder to think of things to write about right now, the correct spelling is keeping me in some sort of formal mind frame and i can't seem to escape into the glorious world in which i usually live in. All i can really think of is how much i hate the U.S.A. Everyone loves Obama don't they and it is pretty hard not to really, he's so god darn adorable. However, people tend to forget, and pardon my language...HE'S A FUCKING YANK! You can't trust him. He might seem nicer than Mr McCaine but remember that compared to the rest of the world he's not such a nice guy. Do you know who is? KAVI:D I'm going to run for Prime Minister soon so i'm going to be counting on you for votes. War on the U.S.A and getting rid of the vote for women are my main policies.

Dudes and dudettes....i cant sleep, any other reason i wud be posting on this lame blog? its all that coffe i drunk at starbux 2day, it ws goooood:D also i ws glad that i didnt hav any of it thrown at me like mikky and alex, wt losers!!clifford messes up ppls clothing, hes ripd like 2 of my shirts broken my shoes, rippd the pokets of georges blazr and rippd his tie!he doesnt know his own strength, and i wonder how he gt that strong in the first place? i dnt think he goes to the gym. gyms sound kinda lame to me, y wud u pay some1 to lift things??if u were a construction worker ppl wud pay u. and these guys earn loads aswell, some times they earn like £20 per hour! thats uber loads!they dnt even do that much work it makes me sick. u kno wt else makes me sik?ppl who like cars..soz stacey.. but cmon!! a cars a car! the only real difference is the colour. how they can talk about cars for so long on top gear on a regular basis i hav no idea, they must put some porn in the show to keep ppl interestd. jeremy clarkson is loserr aswell. that guy destroys the environment and is proud.wt kind of beast is proud of that?proud that his kids will probably choke to death bcos 4X4s are becomin more popular? i like how those adverts are always sayin that theyr doin their best to make more fuel efficient cars and how they care about mother nature...LOL thats just silly ofocors they dnt care but they try to mask it so that it seems they do. honda dnt even talk about cars!! they talk about robots and sky diving like thats gt something to do with what theyre sellin. i like those alcohol ads cos they kno wt theyr sellin...the pure destruction of brain cells in a bottle/can. WKD ads are the best cos they know wt guys do...but i gtta say if ur an alki u wudnt reli be like that....ud probably beat ur wife or something..good times.apparently in japan they have bars that dnt sell alcohol but smells insted:S thats kinda weird, only in japan right? y wud u pay to smell things? only a 4 yr old child wud admit that wen they go out they wnna go "smelling". japanes ppl are crazy, they have weird anime porn and stuff and weird original films. why is it so cool do be original now? ppl act certain ways becos over time we have learnt that thinking or acting in these ways are praaaaactical..so why do we reli need to think out the box? infact with everybody tryin their best to be original the most truly original ppl are those who think practically and traditionally..god bless the BNP! i dnt understand why so many ppl hate politics. its so exciting, its like eastenders or big brother but in suits. loads of disfunctional ppl stuff in a chamber and every 5 years ppl are evicted. i gt and A in government in politics..woo! go me! but now i think about it...wt a useless subject! its not like the country is run like it shud be, its just power hungry freaks doin wt they like. every one hates gordon brown....bcos theyre told to....most ppl cudnt tell u why they do. thats why u shud never judge a book by its cover. but sometimes its natural. i ws walkin past waterstones and i saw in the front window a book called "sex and more sex"...hmmm i wonder wt thats about? a thrilling read i wud presume. its reli weird how loads of ppl have become reli weird. look at russel brand, hes reli funny, but whoah!!! freaky deaky! that guy in the mighty boosh aswell! i totali think the nerdier one is funnier cos hes soo cool and sorta reminds me of george! i kno he gets alot of slack but i think george wudnt be as cool if he wasnt ginger. its just makes him shine. like the sun on a clear summers day..we see the sun less n less now, but its well hot alot of the time...tis global warming! it wellll hot atm and it ws like raining..and its solely thanks to jeremy clarkson..if i see that man on the street im gnna shake his hand...i myt choke, but warm weather makes me feel at home, all i need now is a monsoon season.

Typing helps me control my thoughts... cos like it makes u put all the ideas floating around in ur big ol hed into like some order and also u dnt have to spell proper so u can think that thought by typing it reli reli quikkly, and also u can move on unlike in ur hed where u think half a thought and u myt come bak t it l8a. also u can say things that dnt make sense and ppl dnt look at u funny cos they cant see u, unless u have a webcam, but webcams are sorta a waste of money anyway, there just for lazy ppl who dnt have "real" friends to go out n see so they see them on msn or some other computer thing. also ppl cant tell ur asian or blak wen u type, all they see are the words which is a good thing cos apparently like 75% of ppl who say they arent racist actuli are but they cant help it, its some natural psycological ting, says my brother anyway but he like lies all the time and says things up to make me angry. But i dnt get that angry anymore, i use to like have proper anger issues, i mean just ask ravee i used to shout at him sooo much that even his mum felt the heat, mainly cos all the criticism was aimed at her. she seems nicer now she can speak english and she laughed at me wen she first saw my long hair, sed that i "had style" in tamil, i dnno whether it ws a sarcastic insult cos like tamil ppl dnt show emotion wen they speak in tamil, maybe thats why i didnt like her wen she cudnt speak english, who knows? turns out ravee did reli well in his as lvls, he gt AAAAC it seems the rather sarcastic name burns gave him of "brains" ws well justified. My mum keeps buggin me like ravees mum does to him but not as much. she always quotes my dad when she tries to get me to do things like " kavi ur dad says wash the dishes" LOL my dad wud never say that, he knows im an asian MALE, i have no place in the kitchen. my rentz are actuli sexist, its part of the asian package i spose. also i think theyre sliiitley racist, sometimes wen im about to leave for skl my mum wud say " look out for blak ppl" i mean thats just nt calld for.. i mean i look out for them any way but y wud u say that out loud?!!?does she wnna get shankdd?