anger

im so fukking angry ! therse fuking little keys on my keybaorad are too small there just getijn in the way,. dsfjklsdgkl;vasdjo gkjsadou cant fukkin think y do i keep using the wirjk fuk the back spaece jsut keep tyupung atleast some ien mytr ber abler to t rwead it si tther wrend !!!!jaaaagaghaghagah!1 K;TWF MJHOW THE GUK CUD EER LOSEE!¬! =4-4 IM gnna fukijnng kill someone words are holding me balkckkkds apdiaskl ljksdfglahjklghdfjlaertrrrgg!!!! fl kj WTF!!!!!

I was thinking...what makes something random? Now I can trace back my trail of thought to when I decided to solve the question earlier than time...why is Merrett’s blog better than mine?! Firstly because Merrett has something I don't, which is talent. But enough about Chris! This is MY blog! I was thinking about the good things about my blog (and there aren't a lot to be fair), but one I did come up with was that I believed mine to be random or unpredictable. Here is where what I thought makes more sense in my head rather than on my screen. Considering I never really use particular topics to focus my writing (well typing actually) on, all my posts could be said to be bits of randomness. If all the posts are going to be based on nothing in particular, it would be quite easy to predict what the next post would be about, which is nothing in particular. And if you can predict something it doesn't make it random. Does that make sense? So back to Merrett's blog, and by the way folks you can find the blog I'm talking about at www.tmroady.blogspot.com. Merrett seems to talk about particular topics each time he posts, so essentially in each post there is a degree of predictability. But you can never predict what he is going to talk about in his post until he posts it with the title. Now is this random? I suppose you could look at every single topic imaginable and take an educated guess at what might pop up next, it won't help but one might decide to do that. Computers are said to be incapable of true randomness. This is because when they are programmed to be random, they pick from a series of options and therefore cannot be truly random.
Another thought has just come up in my head. Sssh! Let me think! ...why did I say "I believed mine to be random or unpredictable" and say it was a "good" thing? Surely unpredictability makes people feel insecure, and I would be making my target audience feel uncomfortable! You know what? I'm going to tell you how I'm going to write my next post. I'm going to write once I have induced a state of hyperactivity through and mild dose of caffeine. Should be fun!

You're awfully cheery today,.... odd

Relief. Sweet sweet relief. I think relief could be the most pleasurable experience on the planet. I mean how good does it feel to go to the toilet when you're really bursting or to finally rest your aching body on a soft warm bed after you realise you can't force yourself to stay awake any longer? I ws tinkin bout it 4 lyk an hour 2day, y is it that all da tings we enjoy r ting we cnt normali do, its like relief frm day 2 day life. i dnt find that tings i can do evryday r fun. tink of it dis way, a fat guy myt get sick of mars bars, bt da very second he goes on a diet, shoving dat piece of chocl8 in his mouth its heaven. Is life so overburdening that we actually find it pleasurable to be rid of the stress?
Another way we find fun is through escape. Into the world of video-games and alcohol. Arsnl fukd up fenerbache on wensday, 5-2, i ws wellll happy, bt its nt lyk ne of wt dat team dus is relavent 2 my lyf is it? i jus woch ftbal 2 escape. im nt reli an assasin working in Damascus during the crusades, but yet i feel pride when i complete a mission on Assassin's Creed. Anywhere else is bliss. It helps to explain why so many don't want to get up in the morning. Most people don't get up easily in the morning not because their body is too tired, but because they're so much happier once they've escaped to their dream state.
I would think that most don't even notice the third path to joy. It seems life in general is he main obstacle to happiness. You can be made numb to life for a certain amount of time or you could run away from it. The third way is to confront life. u gta find sumin 2 liv 4 n drag urself 4 a wyl thru each day, dis is probz da hardest part, dis is wer u wna giv up or run away. bt if u dnt, u overcome life, tings start gettin betr. u even smile wen u see the clouds float seamlessly past. You smile when you see yourself in the mirror, with a toothbrush shoved in your mouth, and you love what you've become. You love the fact that when you step outside on a cold winter's day, the cold hits you like a wall, (a moving wall) even though most walls can't move8-). You even laugh at the cheek of that female driver that didn't stop at the zebra crossing!Dis happy place aint easy 2 stay in tho n soon enuf u slip bak out. u 4gt hw hard it ws 2 gt dat place in da first place n wen u try to get bak in u wnna giv up agen. I suppose we've all entered and left this happy place but its really up to you weva u get back in, weva u sink or whether you swim, fall or stand, run or fight.

Nigerian Death Metal? :S

Music and the English language go hand in hand. Most people today claim to have a passion for music and some even comment as if connoisseurs. It is quite clear to see that music plays a prominent role in the lives of the masses, the art seems to form almost an identity for individuals. What has always left me confused is why English continues to dominate the music industry. Considering music is appreciated all over the world, why is it that the biggest American (and sometimes British) musicians are the most recognised. Do English speakers make the best music? Probably not. Is language even involved in music? It seems only logical that music should be judged on the skill and originality of the musician and their instrument.
Some would argue that music is more than a series of notes on different instruments, but now includes a message that listeners all relate to. If true, this would explain why English speakers would only listen to songs written in English. But why then does the entire world listen to songs that most do not even understand? Also how much can be expressed in the lyrics of a song? Sex, love, hate, happiness and sadness. Anything else?
It seems to me the reason for English being the universal language in global popular music is obvious. Money. Huge record companies that operate in the United States allow for American musicians to be heard all over the world, whereas a Spanish singer may only have resources available to be promoted in Spain. These Pop icons may not even be talented; Britney Spears comes to mind and also Avril Lavinge (I know what you're thinking! Kavi she's Canadian! but she is signed with an American company.) Neither of these women has talent, listen to them live, even i could sing better than that. Yet because of the money provided to these "sexy" young women, they have become internationally renowned. I think its time for music to become cosmopolitan.
Music in other languages appeals to me, only of course if the music is decent enough. Even though i can't understand a word of it, the different language is so different it provides originality that popular music has failed to provide recently. Here are 3 Artists i would encourage to look at:
1) Yael Naim - A French Jew who sings in English and Hebrew. She experienced a slight glimmer of fame when one of her songs was played in an iMac advert.
2) Disiz la Peste - A French Rapper who has an album name "le Poisson Rouge" or the Goldfish, how could you resist?
3) Asala - An Egyptian, who experiments with Arabic jazz and pop, a scary and crazy mix yet surprisingly appealing.

bornos sucks , btw borno is the chemist i workd at

my fingers find the keys on my keyboard so easily, now thats a real example of practise makes perfect, its not like the ordering of letters on a keyboard is anything specific, but the fact i can more or less type with my eyes closed is quite an achievement. SO now as my fingers are bent over this piece of plastic and wires, occasionally they shift to pick up my mug of hot chocoatley warmth, i'm wondering what to write. i was remembering the time wen i had a job, now were those good or bad days? i remember the smile that stained my face whenever i got paid, even though it was really really not enough for an average of 21 hours a week. I also remember coming home absolutely nakkerd everyday. i went to Jas's bday party and i cudnt literally stand up for most of it, which ws ok lukkily bcos no1 knew or cared who the fuk i ws. remember wen the quad ws primarily 2 sets of indepenent groups? awkward times.. we all knew each others names, but conversations rarely crossed the border. remember wen every1 ws fat in lower school? especially peter, simon , merret..sorta:p and clifford, and ofcourse especially myself..man i weigh the same now as i did when i ws in yr 9. Thats shameful. well the caffeine has set in...yh i had coffee in my hot chocolate, and im drowning slowly into the emerging black hole that is depression. drugs have lows. u kno, im depressd like 80% of the time. but were all sick of the pessemistic posts on kavis blog arent we! stop feeling sorry for urself kavi! u kno wt made me laugh? matts blog! yh thats right! im starting a blog war here! and wts ur crap blog gnna do about it? nothing thats right! u dnt even post. the more u can post on ur blog shows how deeps ur personality is...look at merret and george for instance...but peter...sport and politcally incorrect jokes? THATS ALL PETER IS ABOUT! WT A LOSER! just kiddin peter ur great...in a very specific athletic and humourous way... and bringing in back to matt, how about writing ur own stuff! not just working of quotes u find! wt a loser! just kiddin ur great...and unlike peter ur probz gnna read this. that brings me to my blog, depressive ramblings, seemingly original thought thats has ironically become cliched, crappy poetry and inaccurate politics! need i say more? wt a loser! just kiddin ur gr8, i even chek u out in the mirror;) dya kno wt.. wen i think about it.. some of the things that make us laugh reli reli arnt funny.. like the constant black jokes or jews jokes and sexual references.. not funny, just sooooo politcally incorrect it makes us giggle, like sayin bum in primary school. and how many GBs of illegal material is on my PC? i shudnt be sayin that on a blog but still... merret just mentions some band called brand new...so i decide to download an album of theirs.. without payin... im sik to my stomach. how dare i! and how dare the internet let me do that! u kno wts fukkd up... raveethan 4gt his house keys the other day, and i actuli managed to break into his house for him and open the door, and i ws proud of myself! my god. i wna tell u a story of a little girl.. her name doesnt matter, wt does matter is her age, she ws 14 ...OH RIGHT!! GIGGIDY GIGGIDY! thats the end of the story. shud i end this post? i havnt reli written anything memorable yet, and its making me fustrated! wheres the funny kavi wen u need him? in fact i havent seen him since yr 11. i kNoW lets make a rap!
yo yo yo
ur mums a ho
i gt her from behind
and it made her blind?
she ws brilliant
like a polish immigrant
who works as a slave
whoring out on the pave....ment
like wt i did?
gassd it like a yid
the rap that is
and now it fizz...es
oh...yh did it again
and its such a pain
to kno that this rap
is so so so veeeery crap!
kavvizle MC! brruup!

soo? im keepin the day job...but i dnt have one so im pretty much fukkd.

Matt's poem

Here's a poem i wrote for Matt. It's not so good but it'll do i suppose:p


How's it gonna feel when summer ends?
Out of money, out of friends.
How you gonna cope when autumn begins?
No help is around, so you search within.

Alas you find there's nothing inside
But you don't care and you decide
That it seems quite nice to be eternally confined
To float around the depths of your mind.

You stick around noticing the smile
That has crept across your once baron face,
But it leaps away leaving you in disgrace
you remembered the question avoided all the while.

How is it gonna feel when summer ends?
Still out of money and still out of friends.

Left-Wing? Right-Wing? or in the Centre of this poorly categorized bird?

When I heard Naish making some absurd political and mildly racist comments, not only did I feel physically sick but also obliged to teach the ignorant folk something about politics, not all of this may be accurate be what the hell, here we go.

There are three stances most people tend to say they take which are; Left winged, right winged and centred. There are not however ONLY three stances, but an infinite number. Think of it as a number line between -1 and 1m there are 3 numbers;-1, 0 and 1. There are also an infinite amount of decimals in between them. Now this number line isn’t actually a line, it’s shaped like a horse shoe, so left wing and right wing are almost touching. By the way I apologise if you find any of this post patronising.

Let’s start with the left-wing. This wing promotes equality, the idea that everyone is equal in every respect. Therefore a CEO of some huge company would be no less important than a chimney sweep. It also means that no one gets exclusive rights to anything; everything belongs to everyone like a big sharing family. In economic terms the wing promotes total nationalisation, communism in other words. The left wing greatly emphasises the importance of community and togetherness, in a “totalitarian way”.

Now the right wing is very much against the idea of equality, they like the idea of hierarchy where everyone has different roles to play in society. So a Rich businessman would be more important than a chimney sweep. The right wing believes businesses should be owned by individuals, which in economic terms is called privatisation and is basic capitalism. It’s like a family where the father tells the children what to do and gets to make the decisions but has to look after the kids and is responsible for the family’s overall welfare. The right wing also emphasises the importance of community and togetherness but in an “authoritarian way”.

It could seem that the right and left wings aren’t that different; especially as they both promote the idea of a strong community. However, both have different ways of imposing their systems as I have already mentioned, through either totalitarianism or authoritarianism. Totalitarianism is when the state controls everything to keep order and the idea of a national community. This way it ensures disciple and order, things then tend to run smoothly. People are usually free to enter government once elected since all people are equal. Authoritarianism is when the state imposes its authority over all through the government and businesses. They crush rebellion and maintain the hierarchy to keep order and discipline, things runs smoothly when everyone is doing their own specific job. With both wings, there is a limitation placed on rights as they need to strong discipline. This leads me onto the centre.

The centre usually represents liberty, being free to do what you want without any hassle. This may seem good but there is minimal government intervention to fall back onto, so if you become unemployed the government won’t do much except keep you alive. The centre doesn’t really emphasise on the community but rather on the individual, bombarding them with rights so they don’t have to interact with each other, and promoting all to act rationally. The centre tends to promote privatisation but it isn’t rare for some to encourage some nationalisation, a mixed system would make sure most are comfortable with what they need, but not necessarily all they want. At the moment the government is pretty much centre-right with our rights being degraded thanks to the threat of terrorism, but we have been traditionally centre-left with the setting of the NHS and a comfortable welfare system.

If you read all of this I hope it helped :). Some parties offer some pretty convenient policies like safer streets, but make sure which approach they take to it, left or right. You might just end up with something you wish you didn’t wish for.

Writers Block

i kno it sounds silly, but i tink i myt have writers blok. jokes? ive herd that only bad ass mutha fukas get it. so why cant i think of nething to write? must one be in a creative mood to write? if that ws the case i dnt think i wudve got this far. maybe ive written all there is to write, bt thats impossible bcos i speak so freely about nething, why cant i get it down on paper, well on my screen? maybe its cos wen we talk we sorta always talk about the same things, speech is so repatativ, why do i feel the urge to keep my writing original or atleast not to keep makin the same points over and over? has the schools system of essay writing gt 2 me? make a point, go into more detail and give supporting evidence, now thats a paragraph;) bak to the point, i dnt think thats the reason. maybe its quite the opposite. perhaps i have too much to write and im unable to get it all down. its like theres no order of floating pictures in my head but im trying to release all of them at once and theyr gettin jammed at the exit, leaving my fingers just twitching over my keyboard. or maybe ive spent too much of my life thinkin and not enuf time expressing it, the thoughts im trying expressing cud have been at the bottom of all this stored of thought and made a metaphorical tower in my hed collapse. well, ive noticed that on this blog i spend a considerable amount of time talkin about myself, which most other blog authors dont do. i think im just sick of psycoanalysing myself or cant find nething new about myself to tell everyone about. the most probable reason for my mental blok is that im self obsessd. im subconsciously blokkin all thought of other subjects other than myself. i spose it explains why this post has been totally about me. kavi is so awesome.