no UR mother has it got it going on!

riiiiiinng! alarrm bells ringin!! ESCAPE! das wt jordan ws like wen da fire drill went off like 2days ago....lolage stupid whore.. jokes. nehoo i wud like to welkum bak da msn speak;) it makes typin so much easier.but to the point...maybe jordan ws sayin wt were all thinkin...btw i dnt think jordan actuli sed ESCAPE but for the sake of this blog and my convenience lets say she did kk?;) arent we all tryin to escape?? the immense heat of the fire burning your face..its awesome red wings spred across the inside the school, along the corridors, the veins of the bulding, bringing total destruction to all it meets, nothing can be done but to abandon it and think about wt do next. u barge ur way to thru the doors, gazing up at the perfect blue skies...u dare not turn around to see the smoking corpse of the school. the clouds floating effortlessley passin thru the skies makes this warmth surge thru ur body...lol not the fire behind u...its the site of this beauty. the see the black smoke spredding over ur view of the majestic blue sky...u run forward further away from the skl to get away from the smoke, away from the memory of whats there, so u can see the sky, its so nice, makes u feel all fuzzy, u feel time stop, u can just keep ur hed up forever...the warmth in ur stomach, its addictive, a drug, the smoke follows u, u see it covering ur view once again, the building is creeping closer, u feel urself go cold, u need the warmth. u keep runnin to leave the smokes behind, 2 4get wt happnd, to lose urself in the incomprehendable size of the curve of the earth, u dnt care ur neck hurts, u need the warmth. Then u hear callin..frm behind u, from the skl, its callin for attetion, u dnt wnt to go in but u dnt have a choice, its sukkin u bak in, u knew u cudnt stay outside foreva neway, but even stil ur disapointd now the times here.

we always look for tings to help us escape from life, fooball, alcohol, masturbation? just to help us thru the day. its fukkd up wen where u wnna escape to is as bad as ur life is aswell, like wen u get beaten by fukkin hull. like leaving a burning builiding into a another burning building...life sucks. id like to see u comment on this one:p

Would this be poetry if it rhymed?

Do you know why I believe in god? It’s because I’m afraid of the truth. It scares me to think that there is so much in the world that I don’t know about, so much in the universe that I don't know about. It scares me to think that the world doesn’t actually revolve around me, that if something happens to me nothing will change. I’m scared that when I die, there won’t be a heaven; there won’t even be a hell. It scares me to imagine what it is like when I cease to exist, what it is like not to feel, to move or to think.

Do you know why I believe in god? It’s because I refuse to believe my life has no meaning. I must exist for a reason. I don’t know the reason but lots of people can offer one, someone has to be right. I refuse to believe that there are freedom fighters, policemen and firemen, all of whom are martyrs who die for no reason. I refuse to believe that I live just for the sake of it. I go to school, pray every night and write on my blog just for the sake of it. I refuse to believe that the most plausible reason for me to live is just so I can die.

Do you know why I believe in god? It’s because I want to belong. I feel isolated in this cruel world, I want someone to understand me; I NEED someone to understand how I feel and to give me guidance. I want to feel like someone’s got my back, to feel that someone might rely on me, that I’m not the only one who feels the way I do.

Do you know why I believe in god? It’s because I hate my life. There has to be a reason why my life is so different to everyone else’s. There has to be positive ways I can spin the truth into my favour, and to give me fuel to keep going. My life can’t be this bad without some sort of divine intervention.

Do you know why I believe in god? It’s because I love my life. There has to be a reason why my life is so different to everyone else’s. Every second of my life is pure ecstasy, and I need someone to thank. The world is so beautiful, everything about it, the birds and the trees, the cars and the trains, the civilisation we have built. It’s all too hard to comprehend that all this beauty is not down to some sort of divine intervention.

Do you know why I believe in god? It’s because I need a way of explaining what I can’t. So many things in this world are still out of our control, people still suffer and die and we can’t do anything about it. How did existence start? Where does existence end? There is no other answer to all these questions.

Do you know why I believe in god? It’s because I can’t open my eyes to what’s in front of me.

gangsta style!

cap on! sleeves up! GAAANGSTA STYLE! ...hmmm so then...where to start? *awkward silence*.....when i ws 2 i wen out into the road and saw this red thing comin 2wards me...turns out it ws a bus! OUCH! hit me str8, hed smashd blood drippin down my nose...wen i woke up i ws in this dark room with a hot dog in my hand...i thought "a hot dog? if this is hell then satan has a reli reli weird sense of humour...wt a G!" childhood was fun! remember bigbird from sesame st? ws that a guy or a girl..shrug! kids gt it easy now..gameboys hav lil stiks u can use to press tings..also theyre in colour! nehoo there i ws with the hotdog and ther wsnt much in da room, just me and a table, no lights or nething...and i know there ws a table cos i ws lyin on it...smart arse.. nehhoo i gt up and like i cudnt reach the floor, which i ws used to when i ws 2, so i jumpd off but i never touched the floor, just kept falling and falling and falling...and as i ws goin down...and i assumed i ws goin down, i cuda been goin up for all i know i cudnt see nething, well until i started to see the room lighten up...except i wsnt in the room nemore, i ws facing it and my hotdog had gone, instead i had a pair of dice and by now i had completely forgotten about the bus and everything...memories go quikkly innit, infact im surprisd i can remember anything from when i ws 2, i cant even remember yr 9 french! xcept romero lol, i wish i umm..."appreciated" (lol thats the word) women in yrs 7-9 cos i had her for academic reviews and i defo wuda been a naughty bwoi 4 her;) i spose u remember like reli happy and reli sad moments..but like nothin in between..but im not sure where this memory about the hotdog and bla bla fits in cos its not reli sad such...nor happy...nehoo there i ws lookin at the room from the outside, now i cudnt see nething else but this white room. slowly it came towards me, or i moved towards it im nt reli sure, nehoo it came ryt up to my face, and touchd my nose...at the time my nose wsnt as big so it ws reeeeeealll close to my face. i ws kinda scared so i shut my eyes..but i cud somehow see thru my eyelids for a couple of seconds...then it wnt blak...took its time...i think sometime u can do something but it takes like time for ur body to notice it and take effect..u know when u get cut or something and u dnt realise and then later u see the blood or the cut itself..THEN u can feel the pain...sorta like that innit. xcept this ws sliiiiitley different i know but wocha gnna do ay? nehoo i opened my eyes after a couple of seconds and gess wot.....there ws a rainbow..this is wen i realisd i ws gay...nehoo i ws in ireland or somewhere..i had just heard my dad talkin bout ireland b4 the bus incident but i wsnt payin attention cos i ws reppin it with thomas the tank engine, but the name stuck in my name and for some reason i sorta knew it ws ireland..which ws funny cos there wasnt any leprachauns or catholic fundamentalism. so i walkd towards the rainbow but i cud never reach it...i musta been walkin 2wards it 4 like 10 mins..well then green ranger from power rangers poppd out from nowhere and i ws like YAY!!:D he sed hed help me but we had to summon the dragon zord..so he gt out his flute/sword and made that tune!! dooodoodoodoooo! then his mega zord came..how comes the green ranger gt a whole zord to him self...he didnt need it, thats just selfish, and why were there female rangers? if it wsnt a kids show they bl8s wuda gt raped str8 away. especially in those girly scimpy outfits...pink n yellow, it ws jokes how the black ranger ws black...as if he wsnt bright n colourful enuf....i spose they wanted him to stand out.. nehoo i gt into the zord.. and it ws flyin not walkin smashin buildings and shit...and how come the rangers were never arrested? they musta destroyed many a farm, they musta had to paid loooooads in damages or had one stupid insurer...AIG lol. well he took me to the bustop, and tolde me to take the 86 and then walk or take the 364 if i felt lazy, and i ws like kk but y the hell did u drop me in the next place..he ws like this is green street...u gtta learn to gangsta upp!! then he flew off..he ws qrong tho, green st is all freshy and pakified. i cuda been fresh of the boat in a borwn suit and like seagulls still flyin over my hed and still been ayt on green street. nehoo i took the bus home, bak then kids over 8 had to pay 40p but i ws 2 so i didnt...just thought id mention that...well i gt off at the seven kings homebase...and ws like aaaah im home.. then i saw some crowd in the street so i thought i wud walk over to it considering i dint kno where my mum ws. ryt in the middle of the crowd ws my mangled corpse...cliche ay? i ws like shiiiiiiitt that bus wernt playin no games! so i ws like pssh he aint gnna be in rush hour 3 so i walkd home...it took 4eva to get home cos like i had teeny legs...nehoo at that time i ws living on the same road as merrett...i dnt wnna be giving out road names:p but i cudnt do nethin cos like i ws ded innit...so i went to sleep...woke up and wrote on this blog.. walkin around all the time, no1 can hear me... or see me or touch me....which is a downer cos i cant rape ppl...:( ghosts have no fun:( ...wait thats not the end of the story...cos i ws walkin around ilford one day.. i ws well bored cos i ws ded..theres not much to do...so i went to JD and put on all this gaaaangsta clothes on...i gangsta'd up! then i woke up on the floor where the bus had hit me...it ws only a lil teeny bus like the size of my hand, but my bro ws a meean lil dikhed throwin things...so i crossd the road and fukkd him up the only way i knew how...GANGASTYLE!

The Quad

I would say there is a set list of Quad Squad members, and here it is:

• Burns
• Jack
• Josh
• Sam
• Cubitt
• Ruben
• Clifford
• Thomas
• Declan
• Matt
• Peter
• Merret
• Pablo
• Rigby
• Kavi
• Simon
• George
  
• AND TANJIL!

There are some occasional people who wonder in and out that i haven't included for personal reasons:p i hate dipesh..
There are clear areas in which the Quad Squad is split. It is possible to divide the quad into 5 different factions, but with heavy amounts of blurring between them all. These include; The Sporty lot, The Intellectuals, The Spanish Crew, The Music Lot and Drifters.

The Sporty Lot

These guys are clearly passionate about sports, mainly rugby and football, mainly because they're so good at it. 5 out of 6 of these lot are in the School rugby team, if there is still a team, and 2 out of 6 are in the football team. The lot have a clear sense of authority surrounding them as their huge presence is felt and almost feared.

The Intellectuals

A significant portion of the Quad Squad is applying to oxbridge. Although seeming quite appalled by sport-apart from maybe simon and pablo-these group of smart young men can be seen to be quite the opposite of the Sporty lot. However they acquire the same air of control as the big people of the rugby team, but rather through an all-knowing and almost a paternal esscence.

The Spanish Crew

This dynamic trio are origin of the hispanic influences within the quad, although there are probably none. With no other defining qualities other than mumbling the occasional spanish word, the existence of a Spanish crew is debatable, but the trio is loveable none the less.

The Music Lot

"Music in an essential part of life" is often heard from the mouths of musical talents who loiter in the Quad Squad. The either depressive, laid-back or phycotic members of the crew bring a breath of fresh air to the already well ventilated quad, along with fresh gossip and raw bitchiness involving the incompetence of the music teachers.

The Wanderers

By, unsuccessfully, trying to categorize the Quad Squad, i was left with a handful of members who do not conform to the general identities of the other groups. To keep this post and the idea of Quad Factions alive, i have decided to group these people together under the name of Wanderers. In effect all members of the QS are wanderers due to the grotesque amount of blurring between groups, but these lucky few are loved so much by all that they cannot be drawn to any one group.

Fight music...without the music...and without an actual fight..but shud make u angry and thats the point

brrrrrr!!! hear that? its the sound of death..its comin...comin to get u, comin to take u , taking u to the abyss, to eternal darkness. Reach into the depth of ur soul, what do u see? i saw nothing in mine, emptiness, can nothing be defined? how can u have a word for the lack of something? zero. think of zero for a while...think of what it means. it means nothing. i dont think u quite grasp the significance of that. infact stop thinkin. if u can i doubt u can, close ur eyes and think of nothing, not black not silence, nothing. incomprehensible. i hate things i cant understand. thats why i hate dipesh i cant understand how that nigga gt so fat hahahaha! lolll! not funyyy but nigga gtta laugh hahah? u kno wt els i hate. u! why the fuk u reading this go fuk off! im just kiddin , i NEED u , if u dont read this then this doesnt exist , I dont exist....if no1s around to hear a tree drop in a forest does it make a noise? no it doesnt , life is perception, wt u dnt sense doesnt exist. everything ceases to exist every time i fall asleep. bull shit i cant believe i just wrote that hehehehehe i cant think str8 just typing wt i think im thinkin but im not sure no time to stop tho, gtta do something, if i dont keep typing im gnna hurt something, probably myself JOKES! i wonder how long it wud take some1 to notice that i ws ded if i ws to kil myself ryt noww......probzz bout 24 hours... actuli its friday probz bee aboput monday mornin. my mother comin to look for to get me out of bed, she screams calls the ambulence starts to cry, blames her self. such terrible thoughts, stuk in my hed, gtta get them out, get them on this blog, give them to some1 else, keep my self pure. nice and rainbowy, all sweet and chocolately, laughin hahah look at me laugh im all happy. happy happy kavi...kinda rhymes dont it hehe, god i hope i explode, wts takin those fukkin swiss ppls there time. i shud b ded in some blak hole by now, uuughh im so bored, lost in dark thought. i hope im not scaring u , i wud never wnna do that. or maybe i wud i dnno. i wonder wt it feels like to jump off a cliff...i hate heights, i look down i get so close to daring myself to jump off...wud it be such a bad idea to do it? yh it probz wuud, it wud be a terrible mess to clean up. ravz i hope u dont read this...actuli i do or i wudnt have just written that hehehehe im gnna im gnna sink like a brik in custard hehe yellow, yellow is such a weird colour, u know how do i know that the colours i see are the same as the colours that every one else sees? my blue cud be ur red...u cud be seeing a red sky but u wud call it blu...how can u have favrit colours, rmemebr in primary skl,,,,, my favrit colour ws gweeen . fukin little kids cant say their R's gnna unleash gary glitter on u mutha fukkers UNLEASH THE BEAST! all seems dead on the surface, but its screamin underneath...haha thnx coldplayyy cudnt have put it better my self....always look at things from twice, things are wt they seem ahhaha look at joseph lansdown, hes a ticking bomb hahaha hes gnna explode propa asian stylleeeeee. life is jokesss a bitt too funny if u ask me, its gettin full of its self, its a sell out, gettin too popular its time to bring it down, teach it a lesson keep it in line, propa tory style, kik the shit out of it till it obeys. thats why he have laws tho...wt law does life obey?? huh! BITCH! does wt the fuk it likes rude bwoi mutha fukka! why not wear a fukkin hoody u dikhed?!! hide ur fukkin head in shame fukin ugly dik! but u dont stop do u? spring to summer to autumn to winter to spring to summer yh real real original u dum fuk. dnt try n switch it up with that global warmin shit. who u tryna fool? get a real job! im a hypocrite, i need a real job, i need to sort my hed out..switch it up, stop wastin my time on fukkin blogs . stop drinkin coffe that stuff is fukkin me up, cant sleep cant close my eyes, cant think or cant stop thinking ARGH! hahahah jokes! u know wts jokes? yh i dnno i thought u cud help, why are u still reading this? this post has no structure or theme...but dont stop, or no1 will see these letters and they wont exist except in memory..memories FUK ME UP!! i hate them! they keep u living in the past. the past isnt good. the future isnt good and the present is defo not good. but the past is the worsstt. u need them tho or ur messd up in the present or future and makes me fukkin angry! i need to stop them following me, i got rid of asians following me,,, why not memories, why cant u be a dikhed to ur self ? cos ull be left isolated. an amolie haha thanks mr jenkins and politics ....shud i stop? this is probz gnna be a long post , i cant tell cos i havent publishd, ugh my fukkin wrist...too much typing maybe i shud just cut it ....ponies rainbows kittens moonlight romance poetry ..PEACE

so whats the deal with baked beans?

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nice english sucks

kk my last post floppd cos it ws in nice english!!urgh!! if u wnt nice english PLZ go to matts blog www.isitworththeaggravation.blogspot.com its like this one but betr. Sure is nyc to be typin lamely agen i feel like a free blak slave..and i can say tht without like seemin racist cos im half black and west indian......wow im lost for words...writers block? i didnt think that existed b4 but i dnt think its that they cant think of anything to ryt i think its that they have too much cant get it all down. thats sorta wt happnd to me wen i tried to write it nice english, it took waaaay long and i cudnt order my thoughts. sometimes i wonder theres loooadsa stuff i think about or whether theres nothing..i mean i like staring at things but i dnno whether im thinkin while i do it or just like sorta ded. i look at the sky alot, its sooo big its cool, it calms me down cos it reminds me how small i am compared to the rest of the universe, wt i do is soo insignificant to existence. lotsa ppl in skl are prooppper workaholics and i dnt wnna name any names...*cough* manish *cough* i mean u gtta chill sometimes!! they dnt make me as angry as the ppl who are never workin but turn out to be uuuuuber smart, like kavi 8-)..... sarcasm if u cudnt tel.. im still quite sarcy even tho i dnt find it funny nemore, i have an odd sense of humour. and wt i find funny, is that wen i try to be funny i naturally stop laughing cos like i hate ppl who laugh at their own jokes..how sad! but wen they laugh u sorta becom obliged to laugh along with them or theyll feel bad. i dnt like makin ppl feel bad..but it seems im sorta naturally do it, so i try to keep quiet most of the time so i dnt seem like a prik..u kno wt i realised? this post has been mainly about me...lets talk about U now...well if ur reading this ur probably going out with vaishna or going to join the army:p...yh hows that workin out 4 ya?;)

good english and political?:S

Wordizzle! I thought I'd post once again on this rather boring blog because it seems i have some competetion from none other than matt. Also i thought it would be a nice idea to write this post in nice and lovely standard English. It seems a lot harder to think of things to write about right now, the correct spelling is keeping me in some sort of formal mind frame and i can't seem to escape into the glorious world in which i usually live in. All i can really think of is how much i hate the U.S.A. Everyone loves Obama don't they and it is pretty hard not to really, he's so god darn adorable. However, people tend to forget, and pardon my language...HE'S A FUCKING YANK! You can't trust him. He might seem nicer than Mr McCaine but remember that compared to the rest of the world he's not such a nice guy. Do you know who is? KAVI:D I'm going to run for Prime Minister soon so i'm going to be counting on you for votes. War on the U.S.A and getting rid of the vote for women are my main policies.