Reconception

Not quite the Renaissance of this blog, but we're getting there. I thought I should do some practice in blogging before I announce my full come-back. I believe I have succeeded in resetting my head but I feel I cannot quite yet start making sense of the world. I warn you that the word "I" -if it is a word rather than a letter - will be appearing quite a lot in this post, and I am not intending for this post to resemble anything close to interesting, so feel free to stop reading.


So if you've decided to tag along for the test-run, maintenance check or pre-season of this blogging revolution then you have only yourself to blame for any boredom related side effects you may encounter. I am now going to dive into my head and I shall record what I find when I re-surface. Here goes...

1) First attempt - failure to launch - I was unable to even flick the creative switch of my mind. There is probably a malfunction in the serotonin receptors. I shall re-boot and try again.

2) Second attempt - Semi-hallucinogenic state induced - success! I was able to enter the "happy" zone of my head but unable to translate any of the pure energy into comprehensible form.

3) Third attempt - Full train of thought created - well it seems I was actually able to create thought and opinion, but this is not a complete success, as it was mostly stimulated by outrage. I was able to codify some of the emotion,

"So variety night is finally over, now people can get back to the jobs they're getting paid to do, hint hint Mr Emdon, how bout u send of my ucas alredi? all these 6th formers have been wasting their skl time makin some crappy show, my rents dnt pay taxes just for paid skl time to be wasted! my rentz dont pay taxes full stop! jokes. and how comes they're chargin ppl to come? where does the profits go? i mean where does the revenue go, its not like the school pays for anythin like the hall or neting. i tink some of it shud go to the performers, but then again who chose the performers? the elite of the music department, the big headed, bourgoise who can afford instruments, who think theyre so much better than any of other part of the school because they think think "music talent" is a gift. its not. its just being able to practise. i can read, should i try to tell africans i am talented because of that? should i rub it in their noses? should i run crappy school run shows based on that fact, or a book club?"

Transmission was terminated through malfunction of the rationality matrix and perceived socialist tendencies. Overall I feel that can be seen as a satisfactory attempt at a post but modifications must and will continue be made to my head to ensure boundaries of thought are maintained.

a rotten apple core

f : x --> 3x-5
g : x --> e ^ -2x

state the range of g(x)....yh how bout u fuk off!?! ugh i hate maths, what the hell is that meant to mean anyway? how is it gnna help me in life? god i always start posts on a negative! lets start again..

i had a really great day today, arsenal lost and my mum died...kk im gnna start again one more time

well everything seems to be going against me recently but it doesnt seem matter, so that IS good:) i still have a histry essay 2 do for wednesday, ive had 3 weeks to do it so i think its meant to be good, but ho well. i found that i dont like histry nemore, italy is so boring. just thinkin about it is making me yawn. its also slightly depressing me, so moving on. i was think about vegetarians today. they say that killing animals is mean n cruel n stuff but thats such a bad argument.vegitarians are mean to people to eat mean all the time, why do animals deserve more respect? and you tryin to conserve life then why would you kill plants 2 eat? thats life too isnt it? apart from fruit i suppose, thats meant to be eaten if i remember biology:S u kno...im findin increasingly hard to think of things to write, im simply uninspired, plus im generally quite a boring guy, i can only talk about certain things for a certain amount of time. i was thinkin about takin a 2 week break from blogging. lol i almost thought people cared if i did. u kno i think ive developed a physical addiction to coffee. did i talk about that in my last post? well just incase i did i wont talk about it. hmmm kavi say something funny. u kno theres only two things i emotionally respond to these days, humour and depression. i'm tryin to find a bit in the middle. but its not working......... love is a disability, it stops you being able to see bad thing and thinkin evil thoughts... i dnno why i sed that but david bowie sed soemthing like that in one of his songs..wt a guy. u kno what..fin.

13/11/08

So what subjects do you take? Doesn't it make you cringe when a conversation can't start or is in serious danger of dying and this question pops up? Unfortunately for me this happens quite a lot.

Clichéd names

Kavi, a cosmic unicorn and a red wolf find themselves floating somewhere...

Kavi: .......so.... this is a litte awkward...
Red wolf: SILENCE!
Cosmic unicorn: hey hey! dont be rude! why are you here little boy?
Kavi: i dnno! one minute im writing on my blog and the next..whoosh! floating in space!
Cosmic unicorn: what makes u sure so sure u r floating in space?
Kavi:well because its dark n stuff...im pretty sure this is what space is.
Red wolf: well then you'll be surprised to find out we not in space, we are in a vacuum of reality, in a place incomprehensible
Kavi: no were in space! isnt space just one big vacuum? i mean theres nothing in it, what difference does putting "of reality" at the end make?
Cosmic unicorn: lol he got u there
Red wolf: the very fact that you have defined space as what is inside of the vacuum you mentioned allows there to be a definition of the void and therefore is no longer a vacuum.
Kavi:.....
Cosmic unicorn:......
Red wolf: what i mean to say is that were are in neither in nothing nor something, what we are in cannot be defined.
Cosmic unicorn: ok? but who cares? dude why did you even ask that question?
Kavi: i dnno! i thought i could sound smart
Cosmic unicorn: well u sure made the 2 of us look reeal dum dint u!?! so nehoo u dont actuli know why you're here?
Kavi: nope!
Red wolf: why he is here is irrelevant!
Kavi: hey! wocha tryna say?!
Red wolf: SILENCE!
Cosmic unicorn: jeez! enough with the SILENCING! who dya think you are?
Kavi: nah its cool dude! i dnt mind being quiet for a while
Red wolf: good.
Cosmic Unicorn: dude ur here cos me n SILENCE mccgee here decided to spread our message
Red wolf: you brought him here?
Cosmic Unicorn: yh why not?
Red wolf: i say that we shouldn't tell anyone of our ways and you decide to bring someone?
Cosmic Unicorn: mmhmm thats my job remember!
Kavi: so in the void of reality you are employed? that seems kinda dum to me guys
Red wolf: do not question me boy!
Cosmic Unicorn: what he means to say is that "employed" is not the correct word. our arrangement of existence is mutually beneficial
Kavi: what exactly do you guys do?
Red wolf: we hold ultimate power
Kavi: over what?
Cosmic Unicorn: over all that exists
Kavi: then how comes you didn't know i was going to come then wolfy?
Red wolf:...
Cosmic Unicorn: because you do not exist you are not in the a dimension of existence.
Kavi: u say that, but im quite clearly existing, i mean im talkin to you guys aren't i?
Red wolf: you perceive you are talking, you hear yourself, feel you lips moving. because you can sense physical properties associated with speech, it does not mean that your speech exists.
Kavi: so the fact that i can hear and see you doesnt necessarily mean you exist?
Red wolf: it is a possibility
Cosmic Unicorn: and the fact that he said were not in a dimension of existence, im pretty sure we dont
Kavi: then what makes you ultimately powerful?
Red Wolf: by existing we ensure that doubt and confusion ensues
Cosmic Unicorn: we do the things that people can't explain by simply being there
Kavi: but i thought you said you aren't there! you said you don't exist
Red wolf: we don't need to be sensed in a physical form to exist
Cosmic unicorn: nor do we have to exist to be perceived to exist
Kavi: my head hurts:(
Cosmic unicorn: yh it usually does when people think about it
Kavi: hey can i ask you something?
Red wolf: sure!
Kavi: how comes you got all explainy and less snobbish suddenly wolfy and you stopped being all nice and hip unicorn?
Cosmic unicorn: because you wanted it that way
Red wolf: we often apprehend what we choose to apprehend
Kavi: i dont understand. you guys changed because i wanted you to change?
Comsic Unicorn: precisely
Kavi: so i can make you what i want to make you? i can destroy you or create you? are you guys even there? are you just a figment of my imagination?....guys?

does anyone read the title?

wategwan! if caffeine is a stimulant then why the hell am i so tired and short on words? i honestly can't think of anything to say, but i'm determined to finish this post 2nite, drafts are for losers. i don't wanna waste my time, become another casualty of society. i'll never fall in line, become another victim of the conformity? but why the hell not?:p darn hippies. hmmm i need someting funny to say quick. and not just the word anal. i hate the fact that ive been tagged by that word, i hardly see it appropiate to start texts to me with the word anal. its like callin john major prime minister, he did the job for laugh along time ago, but we've all moved on, stop living in the past! god this posting business is reli reli hard atm! im just daydreaming listening to sum 41 waiting for something to pop into my head. i spose if u dnt give ur hed time to stop thinkin u can keep typing. hmm wt to say now tho? ive now finishd explainin that i cant write and im dangerously close to running out of things to type..shud i just keep typing dots...... no that wud be a waste of space. i suppose i could just slump into depression and talk about that. but i refuse. i want to show theres another side to kavi, an almost happy side:) u know what i hate? nothing, im happy. isnt life just great? with all the oxygen and pointlessness. now now kavi sarcasm isnt they way to go. now my bro sed a weird ting to me earlier this week, that i kept misusing the word "irony" he sed irony is when you say something but u mean the exact opposite. i ws like thats sarcasm dude?. but hes older so hes probably right. i always thought irony ws like wen something oppositely coincidental happens, or if u say something that u dnt mean, but ur meaning is obvious. i suppose if tanjil reads this he can help me out...hmm matts listenin to jay-z, cud he get any cooler? now was that sarcasm or irony? god knows. since ive mentioned matt and tanjil , why not shout out some names.... paul the aryan..merret..george.....yh i spose that'll do. now i dnt kno if this happens to anyone else, but sometimes when i look at word, i see how its spelt and then i just cant get over how absurd that word it is. examples of words i find weird sometimes are; fat, quit,october..theres a few more that i cant remember. so i did find some words to say on this post, will you look at that:) but sayin that i dnt have many more:( ooo another weird thing that happens to me is that i only dream (or can only remember my dreams) if i have read something before i go 2 sleep. just thought people should know that, its like medical information, i mean i told the office that. ah man my bro came into the room and ws like standing behind me for like 5 mins just wochin me, without sayin a word. now i was rather embarassd of my blog but he cud bl8s see i ws up 2 something i didnt want him 2 see. hes such a freak. ah man i had tings to say b4 he walkd in...he totalli fried my trail of thought. i cant believe i have nothing better to do on a friday night than write on some blog. i accidently missed have i got news for you writing this:( happy thoughts.... u kno wot? im just not a happy person. i do laugh alot tho. lets be funny. so wots up with the colour green? its soo look at me im soo distinct from the other colours, wt a loner. that wsnt even a funny attempt of tryin not to be funny. merrett just gave me advice on not writing forcefully, hey merrett...screw u! yh i spose ive written enough, i mean i wrote SOMETHING unlike matt. happy happy:)! now ive read this for spelling mistakes..it feels too short...so wt the hell lets keep goin. so its novembr now woo! my fave month, its soo nice an cold, u know what! it gets soo dark these days!! its like pitch blak at 5 o clok. i walkd home 2day at like 5:15 and i ws scared of being in barkingside after dark! i think a cuple of chavs have moved away from barkingside u kno. about the same time that stabbing on horns road made the news.. hmm.

A conversation with the mirror.

You hate yourself. I can tell. Everyone does. Not only that, you hate anyone who reminds you of yourself. And if you were to realise you hated someone simply because they reminded you of yourself you would hate yourself even more.

The mind. Arguably the most beautiful conception in existence. Yet it encourages its own destruction. Why do we find the destruction of brain cells via alcohol such a pleasurable experience?

Ever been in love? I doubt it. Love doesn’t exist. Take ego and lust. It’s really nice to know someone likes you, who thinks you’re great. It makes your big head even bigger. Lust, what can I say? We all have needs. The desperation to maintain these two ingredients in a relationship is the closest thing to love. Slightly overrated if you ask me.

Life is hard isn’t it? Wrong! Life is only hard for quitters. The world isn’t against you, everyone isn’t wrong, you’re just not right. Don’t feel sorry for yourself, the universe understands you perfectly, now it’s time for you to.
God is for the ignorant and the desperate. Only a fool would follow religion through fear of god or genuinely believe in explanations that suited life in the Middle Ages. Some hope there is a god, so their life doesn’t seem so meaningless. God is for the hopeless, when your life is in such a desperate state, you’ll find any reason to keep living.

Suicide is for cowards? I would think it’s much harder to bring death upon yourself than to be lazy or scared and do nothing. Suicide is a sin? Suicide is caused by sin. Why should one endure pain to prove to yourself you aren’t a hypocrite? If you can’t beat them, join them

It’s funny how the more one learns, the more they wish things could be simpler. Why understand more about an existence that is so brutally flawed? Ignorance is bliss.

i get bored sometimes

hi guys! i think i've got to love my enormous fan base:p, i kno matt george merrett tanjil and "flame" read my blog from time to time, and i have to thank you guys! your great comments are appreciated:) exept yours matt, tbh u dnt reli put any effort into ur comments, theyr usually one liners. enuf about matt, its my bday soon. i thought id care more about it, i mean im gnna be 18! thats a milestone isnt it? but i feel the same. i dont drink, so being able to drink legally doesnt really seem like a big deal to me. wnna hear a joke? wots the difference between chris martin and jeff buckley? ... chris martin can swim!..ye its not very funny, moving on.
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lol i like that line i drew in full stops ! its makes this post look like its in a different setting. so arsenal are flopping arnt they! lost 2 points to spurs and droppd all 3 to stoke! and now weve lost van persie to play against man utd. sagna looks injured along with walcott. tough times. but u kno wt ive just realised, that in like a month or 2, if someone decides to read this, its gnna be old news, hopefully arsenal will be top of the table by then. wnna hear a funny joke? wots the difference between a black man and a frog?........a significant amount of DNA..ye its not very funny, moving on.
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so cubitt askd me to write an article about the U.S election in the H.E.L.P magazine in school. firstly i dnt understand why people in the U.K (where i live) care about the elections in another country, i bet a random member of the public couldn't tell you who the president of ireland is. If they even have a president. secondly, why does cubitt think im this political expert? just because i do the A-level, it doesnt make me any more qualified to talk about it that anyone else, and to write about it in a publication the whole school is gnna read!? i mean im really bad at english, ask ms collins! this blog is testament to my poor literary skills. infact im not sure if literary is even a word, or the word im looking for. but this is getting a bit too serious. wnna hear a joke? wots the difference between belgium and the netherlands? Belgium doesnt have any girls sending poetry to tanjil.ye its not very funny, moving on.
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You know i never chek read my posts, to look out for like mispelt words, i always get tips from raveethan wen he reads them. i shud reli read my own work (if u can call it work) i didnt even notice whether i ws takin in standard english or msn talk:S i think its a bit in between. which one do YOU prefer? ( see i engage the reader! hint hint matt!) lol soz:p lets lighten the mood. wnna hear a joke? wots the difference between McCain and Obama?.......McCain hasnt been selectively bread over the generations of slavery.ye its not very funny, moving on.
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I feel i could end this post, and im tempted to press publish post, but i kno i dont post as frequently as i used to, and i havent run out of steam yet. like the title suggests i do infact get bored sometimes, so i decided to post on this blog. its like talkin to someone whos not real. like an imaginary friend. i wish i had an imaginary friend, so i wouldnt be lonely, but unfortunately im too questioning of the world to fool myself. and there wouldnt be anything new to talk about. soon we would start hating each other, id bitch about them to matt and we might even break up. man that wud suk. wnna hear a joke? wots the difference between kavi and krishna?.....krishna can pull off wearing sun glasses. cmon that one ws alright!:p